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@Notsoobvious' (Notso Obvious) most faved Tweets...
Notsoobvious
I forgot to put on my wedding ring this morning. That means I'm single today, right?










FELLAS?
@Notsoobvious
Notsoobvious
When I hear my 3yo tell her doll to sit down and shut it, I get the feeling I've been doing this parenting thing all wrong.
@Notsoobvious
Notsoobvious
"Hello? Yes, I'd like to order a door. Yes, a door for my office. To keep me from killing the loud coworFORTHE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP!"
@Notsoobvious
Notsoobvious
Pinch, poke, you owe me a Coke is too a thing! Go get me a drink bitch!






Sheesh, kids these days.
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Notsoobvious
If this day were moving any slower, I'd have to come up with a really bad analogy.
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Notsoobvious
Why does everyone think just because I'm smiling I must have won the lottery or gotten laid? I can't just be happy?





Fuckers.
@Notsoobvious
Notsoobvious
Yeah, 4yo is on the table dancing and singing, "Shakin' my bootay." No idea where she learned it, but I hope it makes her good money.
@Notsoobvious
16
penblethsnackajawealinajkBlue_CrabMrBigFistsTrick_or_tweetMrs_Happy_PantsDoogieHowser_MDcarrmahredtothetonem1key_m00nkambrockkeylargokissbedheadblondetammyphinneyprejuthis
Notsoobvious
Doesn't it piss you off when you pick up the office phone to make a call and you've accidentally answered an incoming call? FUCK ME.
@Notsoobvious
15
GPappalardosnackajaweajorshuwahiamnotdiddyMrBigFistsTrick_or_tweetRoxetteMabellonnavanaxBlue_CrabMrs_Happy_Pantscarrmahfactualfictionm1key_m00nkambrockbedheadblonde
Notsoobvious
My throat is becoming more sore by the minute. This is not going to end well. Sorry Hubby. No happy endings.






FINE. Get the lotion.
@Notsoobvious
15
penblethDeathBlossomJohnnyChimponavanaxMrBigFistsgunthergreencarrmahYidagoMissPrissUSAm1key_m00nkambrockbedheadblondetammyphinneyIamDoubleGprejuthis
Notsoobvious
Chupacabra, my ass. It's a fucking dog y'all.
@Notsoobvious
15
snackajaweaChiNurselinajkJarfOmegaTrick_or_tweetLovableDoofusJohnnyChimponavanaxMrBigFistscarrmahYidagoBlue_Crabkambrockbedheadblondetammyphinney
Notsoobvious
Funny how I'm now qualified to shoot a gun, but I can't use friggin scissors without slicing my finger.


Related: Can I have a BandAid?
@Notsoobvious
15
GPappalardoGizzangstanavanaxbisforpianoJeeNeeBeeLovableDoofusMrBigFistscarrmahWhateverLucyYidagoBlue_CrabMissPrissUSAm1key_m00nkambrockbedheadblonde
Notsoobvious
Me? Oh, nothing. Just sitting here playing on the computer pretending I don't hear the 4yo behind me who is supposed to be in bed.
@Notsoobvious
14
linajkBlue_CrabMrBigFistsMeetingBoyMrs_Happy_Pantscarrmahm1key_m00nkambrockDoogieHowser_MDbedheadblondetammyphinneystarmushroomsIamDoubleGshanalizzy
Notsoobvious
Me: "So, you want this done today?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "..."
Him: "No?"
Me: "You're a fast learner."
@Notsoobvious
14
penblethHaNa012redtothetoneWhateverLucyYidagoMrBigFistsTrick_or_tweetBlue_Crabnavanaxcarrmahm1key_m00nkambrockbedheadblondetammyphinney
Notsoobvious
6yo told me to mind my own business last night. The hospital says he'll be home by Monday.
@Notsoobvious
13
JohnnyChimpoHaNa012YidagoDeathBlossomTrick_or_tweetnavanaxpenblethcarrmahBlue_CrabMissPrissUSAm1key_m00nkambrockbedheadblonde
Notsoobvious
Numbers say 2 new followers, but I can't see them. OMG! NINJAS ON TWITTER!
@Notsoobvious
13
penblethlinajksnackajawearedtothetoneRanGTMrBigFistscarrmahYidagoBlue_CrabMissPrissUSAkambrockbedheadblondetammyphinney
Notsoobvious
6yo: "Dad says I'm going to hell."
Me: "No, honey, you're not going to hell. Your father is."
@Notsoobvious
13
MorrosTrick_or_tweetFriedaClubredtothetoneHaNa012MrBigFistscarrmahYidagoMissPrissUSAkambrockbedheadblondetammyphinneyIamDoubleG
Notsoobvious
Imagine my surprise when the 6yo started talking about hair on his balls at dinner.

Parenting+me = obviously not doing it right.
@Notsoobvious
12
GizzangstanavanaxlinajkjkeetenJohnnyChimpoMrBigFistscarrmahYidagoMissPrissUSAkambrockbedheadblondetammyphinney
Notsoobvious
If I were any less motivated today, I'd be six feet under in a pine box. Who the fuck wants to expend the energy to breathe anyway?
@Notsoobvious
11
Fuck_StickMissPrissUSAm1key_m00nMeetingBoykambrockBlue_CrabbytErrantMissVampibedheadblondetammyphinneystarmushrooms
Notsoobvious
Not that I would love him less, but I hope my son's current behavior is not indicative of his future sexuality. Plus, that Barbie song sucks
@Notsoobvious
11
WhateverLucyRoxetteMabellonsnackajaweaTrick_or_tweetMissPrissUSAMrBigFistscarrmahm1key_m00nkambrockbedheadblondetammyphinney
Notsoobvious
Thank you, 6 year old, for the lovely melted imprint in the carpet that exactly matches the shape of my iron. Also, no allowance. EVER.
@Notsoobvious
11
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