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Today is brought to you by the word nope.
Humans weren't meant to get up this early. God hasn't even turned the lights on yet.
Just watched a guy spend 20 minutes trying to find the right filter for his gym selfie. I'd have smacked him but he was much bigger than me.
I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared to lose an hour of sleep tonight.
Working on Saturday. I think my next career is just going to be throwing myself in front of rich peoples' cars.
Friday, 12:00pm: I can't wait to go out tonight!
Friday, 6:00pm: Ugh why did I say I'd go out tonight?
"In my day there was no Netflix. We went to stores to get movies"
Wow, life was tough back then huh Granpa?
"It sure was, kids. It sure was"
I'm "I have no plans tonight and nothing could make me happier" years old.
Apprentice Jabbawockee & Beer Pong Enthusiast. Also, I once gave a girl a broken compass--Bachelorette Season 7