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Sometimes I'm jealous of my friends who are married with children. Other times I wake up late on a Saturday without any responsibilities.
When I was younger having nothing to do seemed like the worst thing in the world. Now it feels like winning the lottery.
Josh Gordon got a 16 game suspension for smoking weed. Ray Rice knocked his wife out and got 2. Apparently NFL stands for no fucking logic.
Fifty Shades of God That Movie Looks Terrible
@maria_glorious in case you haven't seen it "@variety: The 'Fifty Shades of Grey' trailer http://variety.com/2014/film/news/fifty-shades-of-grey-trailer-arrives-online-1201268224/ … pic.twitter.com/RFTHShAQI3"
Thursday is like your high school sweetheart. You like it but you know something better is right around the corner.
I just dropped a french fry on the floor, so yeah, I know a little something about the one that got away.
ABC is making a show called Selfie. I officially hate everything.
Bachelor in Paradise looks a lot like Survivor only instead of completing difficult challenges you get drunk & make bad decisions.
Every rapper seems terrified that if they don't say their name at least fifteen times in every song we'll forget it.
You know I'm starting to think flying on Malaysian Airlines might not be safe.
My bed is 700% more comfortable when it's time to get up than it was when it was time to go to sleep.
Apprentice Jabbawockee & Beer Pong Enthusiast. Also, I once gave a girl a broken compass--Bachelorette Season 7