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Up early on a Saturday because being an adult is bullshit.
Just a reminder that Tom Brady's suspension is twice as long as a guy who was literally caught on tape punching his wife.
The main difference between me in my 20s and me in 30s is how I feel about being home at 10 on a Friday night.
Bill Cosby is a rapist and Hulk Hogan is a racist. My childhood is literally dying in front of me.
Psst, for 20 bucks I'll tell your wife I signed you up for Ashley Madison as a joke.
A guy named Bolt is fast, & a guy named 50 cent is broke. Not saying names are important but to be safe I'm naming my kid Rich McWellhung.
Today is my mom's birthday. I'm still childless, so no need to ask if I got her what she wanted.
Look on the bright side, Subway. At least now everyone will forget that you were putting rubber in your bread.
To be fair, Jared is literally famous for his quest to get in smaller jeans.
They could make an entire season of Law and Order: SVU about Bill Cosby and still only cover half his victims. Think about that.
I wonder if it bothers Britain that we were so happy about breaking up with them that we literally made it a national holiday.
Beer Pong Champion, Bad Decisions Enthusiast. Bachelorette Season 7. Snapchat: a.westlee; Insta: AWestLee
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