Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Open Mike Night has a whole new meaning in gay bars .
Some of you are extremely funny , but the rest of you really need to give prostitution some serious thought .
Men that encounter really huge female breasts sometimes run totally out of spit , while trying to moisten just one areola .
I'm pretty sure twitter will transition into a dating service for the mentally challenged .
My old school chums would never believe I spent this much time typing back and forth to other fellow mentally dismantled individuals .
A room full of 5 year olds could make better decisions for the world . The adults have agenda's , but the children have dreams .
Ladies , Have you ever been with a man that took so long unwrapping a condom that you started playing charades with the couple next to you ?
It's amusing to watch tweets progress , from an innocent glad to meet you to " My pants are down and I'm getting close to your house . "
I've got 666 followers , and I wish one of you would tweet somebody, and have them follow me just long enough to get the devil off my ass .
When a hippopotamus gets horny , Things become hippocritical .
My Who to Follow listing is starting to look like the Manson Family .
I've decided to donate my body to Science Fiction .
There's nothing wrong at all about wearing party hats while fucking .
There's nothing more scary than making contact , with a bingo ladies foot corn , as she cleverly works her giant claw up your inseam .
You don't have to have a body like a Greek god , if you know where all the 40 percent off ladies shoe sales are located .
I've closed my twitter account twice so far , but I've decided the next time frustration sets in to just shave off one eyebrow .
Wanted : Funny and interesting personalities for my timeline . Must be at least 21 years of age and be able to type in fluent English .
If my dog barks at your avi , I unfollow . It's just a simple low-tech way of deciding your future .
I don't remember following any of you people .
Don't you just hate those people , who stab you in the back , and then have the fucking nerve to ask for help loading the Flat Screen ?
I wrote hilarious comedy for drive-time radio . I also published my own adult tabloid newspaper . Make me laugh , damn you ! ( Adults Only.)