Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I've got to go & do a boring job in a relatively small space with a man who's disgruntled at me to say the least.
Adulthood in a nutshell..
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you .
I can overlook someone’s flaws but in the end if I can’t trust them, they’re completely worthless to me.
I heard that if you still live with your parents at aged 40, your virginity grows back. So, every cloud..
I failed the River Dance auditions twice because I can't swim.
Consistency is great unless you're a constant disappointment to everyone.
girls always use the same dumb pickup lines on me, sayin' things like "ugh" or "what's your friend's name?" Some originality would be nice.
i don't understand why they call them drumsticks. they look nothing at all like chicken legs.
Ladies, stick a tampon behind your ear and when someone tells you it’s there, say “Oh shit, where’s my pen?”
EVERYONE GROUP HUG!
I want Christopher Walken to write me a letter just so I can count the commas.
Somewhere someone is realizing following me was the worst decision ever.
I can't wait to get off work so I can take off my clothes and run around naked!
When you think you have a connection with someone only to find out that the connection is one sided…that’s a different type of heartbreak.
You and me.
You & me.
You n me.
You in me. There we go.
Opened the blinds & discovered that the seasons have changed since I logged onto twitter.
I have had a VERY exciting weekend. It wasn't this one, but I have had one.
I'm sorry if my tattoos offend you!
I'll just be over here, continuing to not give a FUCK & living my life!
If you think I'm disappointing I'll try my hardest to be more of a disappointment, because I wouldn't want to disappoint you.
my biggest accomplishment is writing accomplishment without typos