@OHguy7's (Jordan) most faved Tweets...
Boyfriend hasn't smoked in 3 days. Oh, by all means YOU congratulate him; I'm too busy packing up my shit.
The only thing I've had to eat since Thursday night is pizza; I'm just an active sex life short of being a college student.
Hillary Clinton plans to visit Chile to observe aftermath of quake, but WE ALL KNOW it's not a REAL tragedy until Brangelina shows up. Duh.
I don't mean to brag or anything, but some of the dishes in the sink have been in there since Christmas :)
These Olympic athletes aren't talented at all! Oh my bad, I accidentally switched it over to American Idol. How embarrassing!
Just realized I've made two jokes about Helen Keller in under a week. It's official: I'm going to HELL.
I prefer the Summer Olympics. At least there's that classy "maybe he is, maybe he isn't"-ness to the gay guys.
Geesh, I'm sick of hearing Conan / Leno jokes. It' getting played out. Can't anyone come up with a good Tiger Woods joke these days?
At least all of the Haiti orphans can breathe a sigh of relief knowing they'll never have to call Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt, mommy & daddy
Oh, I'm sorry? There's a country named after poultry? It had an earthquake too now apparently? Yeeeah, I failed geography.
I think kitchen items only get happy names to keep suicidal housewives hopeful. Like JOY Antibacterial Liquid Soap and GLAD ware. Ya'know?
More people would watch the Grammy's if they advertised for it like they did CSI: Miami, like, "And one of them WON'T MAKE IT OUT ALIVE."
I could never be "the gay guy" on a reality show. I lack the lisp when I talk, and I'm pretty sure that's a prerequisite.
Some of us like to end tweets with "Fellas?" or "Ladies?" I propose the bisexual "Felladies?" You must admit, it's catchy.
The term "I Told you so" is a naturally reoccurring phenomenon in my life. So is the untimely death of those who say it to me.
If I've learned one thing from a month acknowledging the color black's history it's that the color black has never been a very bright color.
Good. Everyone's asleep. Now I can do my Taylor Swift impersonation. *ties elastic band around chest to make chest appear smaller*
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