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@OHguy7
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Friends: 509
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Favs Given: 4,956
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@OHguy7's (Jordan) most faved Tweets...
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Boyfriend hasn't smoked in 3 days. Oh, by all means YOU congratulate him; I'm too busy packing up my shit.
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OHguy7
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The only thing I've had to eat since Thursday night is pizza; I'm just an active sex life short of being a college student.
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Hillary Clinton plans to visit Chile to observe aftermath of quake, but WE ALL KNOW it's not a REAL tragedy until Brangelina shows up. Duh.
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I don't mean to brag or anything, but some of the dishes in the sink have been in there since Christmas :)
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OHguy7
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These Olympic athletes aren't talented at all! Oh my bad, I accidentally switched it over to American Idol. How embarrassing!
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Just realized I've made two jokes about Helen Keller in under a week. It's official: I'm going to HELL.
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I prefer the Summer Olympics. At least there's that classy "maybe he is, maybe he isn't"-ness to the gay guys.
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Geesh, I'm sick of hearing Conan / Leno jokes. It' getting played out. Can't anyone come up with a good Tiger Woods joke these days?
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Apparently shitty grammatical usage and semantics are trending.
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OHguy7
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At least all of the Haiti orphans can breathe a sigh of relief knowing they'll never have to call Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt, mommy & daddy
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OHguy7
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Your Mom could probably win six different SAG Awards for her left breast alone.
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Oh, I'm sorry? There's a country named after poultry? It had an earthquake too now apparently? Yeeeah, I failed geography.
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I think kitchen items only get happy names to keep suicidal housewives hopeful. Like JOY Antibacterial Liquid Soap and GLAD ware. Ya'know?
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More people would watch the Grammy's if they advertised for it like they did CSI: Miami, like, "And one of them WON'T MAKE IT OUT ALIVE."
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I could never be "the gay guy" on a reality show. I lack the lisp when I talk, and I'm pretty sure that's a prerequisite.
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Some of us like to end tweets with "Fellas?" or "Ladies?" I propose the bisexual "Felladies?" You must admit, it's catchy.
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The term "I Told you so" is a naturally reoccurring phenomenon in my life. So is the untimely death of those who say it to me.
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I wish a killer whale would flop up on stage and maul Ryan Seacrest. Just sayin.
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If I've learned one thing from a month acknowledging the color black's history it's that the color black has never been a very bright color.
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Good. Everyone's asleep. Now I can do my Taylor Swift impersonation. *ties elastic band around chest to make chest appear smaller*
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