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I'll never forget the four wisest words my father ever said to me, "Shut up and dig."
"The book of love is long and boring. No one can lift the damn thing. It's full of charts and facts & figures & instructions for dancing."
You know you're a networking/security geek when you have a less-than-stellar bowel movement and you think, "malformed packets."
And if anyone tells me that a 5 month old dying is "God" working in mysterious ways, s/he gets punched in the junk.
McDonald's sign says, "Mighty wings are here!" What do those come from, Mighty Ducks?
Got an email titled, "Free Martha Stewart Thanksgiving Cookbook." My brain stopped at "Free Martha Stewart" and thought, "What now?"
Wow, The Pack just can't catch a break. I love it.
These. Fucking. Bears. Jesus.
"NSFW" is really just shorthand for "awesome."
#ff my cock.
Such a fine line between stretching out after #running and just being lazy on the floor.