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Had a Christian, whose profile states that the world "just needs more kindness," tell me to kill myself because I'm an atheist.
I don't understand why people put up with being treated like trash, but even less understand how people can treat others that way.
My problem isn't that I don't know what I want to do with my life, but instead that I want to do everything and don't know where to start.
Distance is such a bitch.
"This much crazy in one place is bound to have consequences..."
And that, kids, is precisely how Twitter was created.
I'm the type of person driving on the interstate who thinks of slow vehicles as obstacles & fast ones as opponents. Cops add more strategy.
I use delusions of grandeur to balance out my insecurities.
My phone auto-corrected a misspelled "traffic" into "triffids," so now I'm looking for murderous plants casually strolling along nearby.
Serious conversations should always include excessive eyebrow communication.
I was just passed by a hearse going 90mph. Is it too crass to say that I think they're running late for a funeral?
It's a burden, but we ran out of better things to tweet about.
I really like that I follow a bunch of weirdos.
Our biggest mistake seems to have been in pretending that "normal" exists. We're better off with self-acceptance and delusions of grandeur.
I'm glad that churches are so lavish. Otherwise I might think the religious were supposed to be humble or something...
I'm still waiting for the cataclysmic event that turns me into a superhero.
Objective perfection is delusional.
Subjective perfection is variable.
We all see things differently.
If sex can ruin your friendship then you either have a weak relationship, some cataclysmic emotional instability, or just really bad sex.
I apologize for inappropriately responding to your extremey private conversation over twitter... But I'm a creeper and you should've DM'd.
My coping mechanism is bewildered confusion.
Kayaker. Geocacher. Vegetarian. Chaotician. Atheist. Lycanthrope. Plague Rat. Sniper. Anarchist. Zombie Hunter. Assassin. Dovahkiin. Time Lord. Bullshit Artist.