THIS RT @lahondaknitter Sorry folks, if I have to sign in to FB to see your photo or link, I'm not gonna.

RT @carolspiros Honest sign on the door of Subway #manchester #londonriots twitpic.com/63j8ia via @twitpic

OMFG RT @ihatefeds: This is why you open oreos. pic.twitter.com/X7UXpbuKHS”

@wtfsexfacts this thread needs some wet pussy. http://j.mp/n25ed8

@jasonlvoorhees @lindsaydianne Mrs. Voorhees was wise beyond her years.

Bridezillas has been on for 10 seasons. Firefly was on for one. Tv, you have failed us.

So as far as I can tell... Picking the pope is like the goblet of fire?

RT @jenners26 I swear to god by 10:30 at night not one person should be able to say, "Hey Mom?" #gothefucktosleep

"you are simultaneously my friend and not my friend. I'm classifying this phenomena as Schrodingers friend" ~Sheldon Cooper

@jasonlvoorhees according to your mama, the 13th was your birthday.In 1980 June 13th was the only Friday 13th. So,June 13th is killing day.

I can't believe it's been 10 years of being pissed about firefly

@nino_negrino that dinner was the "I just got the pick up box from the pantry and imma throw shit in a pot" dinner.

Can't help but wonder if the queen is like "damnit I owned you...and you...and you..."

Dammit my sim just drowned in her soup. Wtf.

Whenever the time comes, I want my headstone to say "I shaved my pits for this?"

Can they invent one more windshield wiper setting below intermittent called "frog piss", for mist and drizzle?

i dunno what to tweet about now. i can't top Bin Laden being dead with say, bacon and knitting.

Got an antibacterial organic cleaner with thyme in it. Now my bathroom smells like a frigging roast chicken.

@jamesdeen I always want to know what you're whispering to the women. I worry it's something like, "when we're done I want a burrito"

@aniknits @unhipnic Harry is the wizard who has been chosen by prophecy to ultimately take down the evil wizard who wants to control all.