I'm so sick of people using medical terms like "post nasal drip" and "ADHD" and "please stop stabbing me"

@robdelaney Don't be an idiot Jared Leto only fights with his MIND.

@joshgondelman Hey can I get a RT? It's that guy's mother's effin' birthday!

There are two types of people at 6AM: the cheery people, and the people who hate the cheery people. #guesswhichoneiam

You "check in" to places in Foursquare by humping the building, right?

If so, I am *totally* the mayor of this place.

Super power wish: Elevator floor number makes the elevator go faster and faster every time I push it.

@seanthebaptiste This is my new favorite thing ever.

@danajaybein I bet you, me, and @seanthebaptiste would have been wallet chain buddies.

@seanthebaptiste ONE OF US, ONE OF US

@seanthebaptiste I'M GONNA EAT ALL THIS CANDY FROM LADY YEAR!

@seanthebaptiste There are no bad ideas when it comes to Halloween!

So far the best part of my day was seeing @seanthebaptiste changed his name to Shade Vamp-Teeth.

@seanthebaptiste It's funny because of juxtaposition. CRAP NOW I DID IT.

@seanthebaptiste Just like everyone else, if you do all the work I'll mindlessly follow.

@danajaybein You'll never lock yourself out of my heart. #djblove

@melissastetten Thank you for putting up with his crap for our entertainment.

@danajaybein @t_bizzle @tdanvers If we had a time machine, we'd go back and kill the singer from U2. #nobono

@bdgrabinski I'm doing a 6 movie marathon on Thursday ending with The Avengers. I might be crazy.

@joshgondelman I got my postcard today. It's the best! http://t.co/3mGcGSsJ

@joshgondelman Besides "Tell a joke right now!" - They ask if it's really hard. And what made me start doing it.