All these people asking others for
RT's need to step it up. "its my birthday" is bullshit. Give me a RT or i'll kidnap your favorite puppy.

@thenuzzy calls his cock "babyfist". Not because of its girth, but because its weak and doesnt intimidate anybody.

@thenuzzy is the kind of loser that rides tandem bikes alone.

@mikedrucker you will be quoted in the 2009-2013 section of Ken Burn's documentary "The Internet"

@thenuzzy this wasp is definitely a type Beeee

@badadvicenurse thats probably why they didnt get into heaven. Cuz theyre disgusting voyeurs.

@quintywinties http://t.co/tu9ZMqTH

@quintywinties holy shit same here. I spent so much time searching for that clip...

@thenuzzy grape jolly ranchers+glacier freeze gatorade.

@quintywinties made my night laughing at this.

Talk all you want about how young people are glued to technology. But when the trains are down, YOU dont know why. I do.

"girl, im gonna issue you a gagball order"
-Hon. B.D. Essem, porno judge. 9th Circuit.

I had never been impressed by manmade structures until i went to the Hoover Daaaaamn

its like music to my ears...except that the music is country. Which i fucking hate.

A nose ring automatically makes an unattractive girl at least "ok" because oooh shiny!

#cia RT: @nickschug: Eclipses are just man made phenomenons created by the sunglasses corporation to sell shades. #wake #up #people"

@rorynotroy wait...you try to AVOID those?!

@qu4rtkn33 your jokes make my day. But i have been told i have low standards. Dont judge me!

Everytime @thenuzzy's parents hit him as a kid, PETA got involved.

While most people get confused for someone else, @thenuzzy is often confused with a lesbian