Pregnancy test app where you pee on your phone

I like to ask waitresses for a glass of ass water and they're like ...yeah im pretty sure she said ice water....fucks with their head bro

If you don't like people staring at you , put up some curtains ya feel me

Do u ever (washes hands) think the government made up water so people would be thirsty

what if the secret of the free masons is that there is no actual secret

I want to talk to you about Mortal Kombat

Can we borrow words from each other? I like some of the words you say.

We were all babies at one point in time, stop hating on babies WTF

Told the lady at arby's that my name was Master P without even flinching

Do u guys ever(looks around suspiciously) think

Huge political debate tonight about "what flavor is lettuce"

I'm just glad sharks don't have wings

Does PETA care about bugs sometimes or ever. Bugs also are treated cruelly

But where do you punch a hammerhead shark

P crazy that birds are dinosaurs even crazier that grass is also a dinosaur

How come diet Dr pepper tastes so much like regular Dr pepper explain that atheists

Anyone familiar with the crime solving wizard : Merlock

Shout outs to everyone who beleed in me thank you keep beleen

So what exactly is the correlation between what Cool Ranch Doritos™ taste like and ranch dressing

Got hushed by my supervisor for singing lil mermaid songs in a lil Wayne voice ....smfh I thought it was beautiful doe