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Inside every old person there's a young person wondering what the Hell happened.
There will be no peace till Swedish Goats vote.
Coffee: check. Cigarettes: check. Ah crap, where'd I leave the coping mechanisms?
Have spent last 2 weeks finding Tweeps who make me literally laugh out loud. There are so many of you!
I have 10 pieces of spicy fried chicken and two days off work. If never heard from again, know that I died a happy man.
There are no unimportant people!
If I could only say one thing before I die, it would be "be kind", because I have so often been unkind, and I regret it.
I'd rather be ignored by a humorous anarchist than attended by an earnest moralist.
Sometimes I feel like life is full of needless suffering and pointless beauty, and it inspires me to do what I can.
Romney's 47% remark is the way rich country club members talk when they think no one is listening.
(USA usage) Cooking bacon is like caring for an infant.
We did not ask to be born and soon learn we will die. We wonder what's up and make war over competing fairy tales. Life's a bitch & you die.
"Self centered" is redundant.
I like people who think what they're doing is good for the world, but am fully cognizant of my species' extraordinary capacity for delusion
Life sucks, but it beats being dead, by a fraction. Called "Hope".
I feel like using two favorite words in one tweet. "At age 57 he found himself robustly perplexed."
Certain people of my generation are enamored of Marx Freud and Nietzche but not concerned enough with "What can be done here, now?"
1985 Pitt grad (History). In therapy for proclivity to root for Pgh Pirates.