Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
When someone says they had a bad day, if you don't know them very well, don't tell them they need a drink.
I'm always sleepy at the wrong 5 o'clock.
I know this is true because he was typing it to me after I mocked his career a few minutes ago. https://twitter.com/rexhuppke/status/616663094828400640 …
I have 2 friends with daughters named Ava & 3 with daughters named Eva and I refuse to learn which ones have which. https://twitter.com/radiobethany/status/616655832407797764 …
I'm sorry, Madyson. You spelled everything on the test correctly except your name so I had to fail you.
I have so much respect for today's teachers for not laughing at kids' trendy names.
This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.
Maria is leaving Sesame Street after nearly 4 decades, presumably because Donald Trump kept accusing her of dealing drugs to the Muppets.
When you start a new job, walk up to the most miserable person in the office and sigh louder than them to assert your dominance.
Bored singles in your area are taking your jokes seriously.
My mother's Italian, my father's Jewish and I should be in therapy.
Like @OhNoSheTwitnt’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!