Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"Coyote" is "Kay-o-tee" in the North but "kay-ote" in the South because red states don't believe in taxing syllables?
When you're married "sex" is woman for "leverage."
I know more about Amanda Bynes's vagina than I do about her career.
If Ann Coulter says something horrible and there's nobody there to hate her, does it make a sound?
No, Chicago. That isn't pizza.
Every sequel should have the tag line "Why?"
Proud to honor whoever did whatever resulted in me having a three day weekend.
About to take my second nap of the day. How's life with children treating you, parents?
I'm a Jewess so, keeping with Bruce Wayne's tradition, I name all of my vehicles and weapons with the prefix Bat and just add Mitzvah.
I love how the laws of glass don't exist in action movies.
So absurd when people post pictures of their human babies when there are tons of pictures AND videos of animal babies available online.
My cats get really nervous that my husband is never coming back when he goes out for cigarettes. They've been watching way too much TV.
The nice thing about being a small, un-intimidating white girl is that I can go out wearing a black hoodie without arousing suspicion.
It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where my car keys are?
Don't ask for a follow back thats totally gauche-al networking.
"I don't want Snow scrubs." -discerning lady of Winterfell
The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that this tweet format is still funny and fresh.
I do shut-up comedy. (I write jokes on Twitter and avoid real life conversation) My mother's Italian, my father's Jewish and I should be in therapy.