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If seeing the good in people and believing they are who they say makes me a fool, I'll be one. I don't like the thought of the alternative.
There is nothing sexier than a man who knows how to be a good Dad and will do anything for his kids. Even if it means making himself unhappy
That awkward moment when you thought someone helped fix you, then realised they left you even more broken than you were before
Heart, you're fired. You've proved yourself to be a bad judge of character for the last time. Next time, brain's in charge.
Sometimes someone walks into your life and you just know your whole world has changed. And that things will never ever be the same again.
The best thing about dreams is the hope they bring.
Then reality stomps all over that hope and kicks it in the teeth.
Ordering Chinese. It's the age old dilemma. Order for one and look like a sad fuck or order for two, eat it all and end up a fat fuck.
That feeling when you want to go stand on top of a hill and just fucking scream. That.
According to the girls, my choice of underwear means I'm even less likely to get laid. What the fuck is wrong with Cookie Monster pants?
Pretty sure that after 5yrs of putting up with the ex's refusal to accept 'it's over', I'm allowed to hire a hitman. Yes?
The vodka's slipping down nicely. I'll apologise now for anything that may be tweeted after this point.
Dear snow, Fuck Off. If you want to grace us with your presence, do it tomorrow after I've had my long overdue night out. Love Me
It's that time of night when they're all asleep and quiet. How I like them best.
Show me that other part of you again. The you that shows when you let your guard down.
Seriously hope I enjoyed being a serial killer or whatever it was I did in my previous life. Must have been fucking evil to deserve this one
How can it feel like someone you've known for such a short time, has been there forever?
Just here for the laughs.
