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Why is it that so often, in order to free your own heart, you must break someone else's...
I really hate it when my own rational thoughts prevent me from being a brat.
Being an adult is stupid.
He ended a conversation by saying "toodles".
HR: *Tosses ziplock with bloody balls in trash* Have a great day.
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you're not funny, clever or insightful enough not to RT.
Fear has kept me from being truly happy for far to long.
It's. My. Time.
Don't hesitate to tell her everything you feel.
What you leave out may be exactly what she needs to hear.
I let the 4yo drink two full glasses of sweet tea before dropping her off at the in-laws, because I'm a passive aggressive asshole.
Listing to this chick give out relationship advise while knowing her husband is banging her BFF makes being around people worth it today.
I exercised before work this morning.
That was stupid.
Updated my iOS version so all my texts and calls were also going to my GF...
Try it out if you want to know what a heart attack feels like
I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember
But what amazes me the most is how frequently I find new things to love about her
Yep... Just wrote S&M in an email instead of M&S.
GF just bitched at me for scheduling a tennis match on Fri night
Now imagine her face when she realized she had our anniversary date wrong
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.
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