Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If you feel the need to constantly tell people how great you are in bed…
If you were, your lovers would be the ones talking.
The original screen shot.
Anyone know of a class I can take that will teach my how to vacuum my closet without getting shoestrings stuck in the rollers?
My BFF* is getting married on 12-13-14 and thinks that’s really cute.
If I wanted you to catch me when I fall I wouldn’t have jumped.
See, nothing is impossible.
If the Raiders can win a football game, you can eventually get laid.
Fantasy football past the trade deadline is like sex without an orgasm…
What’s the point?
“If you leave anything behind you it should always be acts of kindness, for they light up the world”
What. The. Fuck. Ever.
I hate it when it’s not worth going outside to smoke cold.
I’m attending my first pre-school recital this morning.
No wonder all the parents I know day drink.
Can someone please tell this newly acquired 4yo about the benefits of sleeping in on the weekends, because WTF.
Do you not know how the world feels about douchebags in white sunglasses.
Just saw the 50 Shades of Grey movie trailer and as I yawned I ordered extra xanax to brace myself for the next wave of horny housewives.
Some say God never gives anyone more than they can handle.
*takes life inventory*
I say he’s a shitty judge of character.
When my father was killed, my Mom was left with a 2, 9 and 10 year old.
I never had to look outside my own home to find my superhero.
The 4yo just told me to watch my manners so I went ahead and opened her up a FB account, because lame.
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.