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Just spent $21 at Taco Bell in case you were wondering how the diet is going.
Beyoncé... Please stop talking about being a strong, independent woman that takes no shit.
Your man cheated, yet you're still in his bed.
I love my pups, but I do miss sleeping in a non-bendy straw position. I can't even find my left foot.
Going to a cabin to hang with a bunch of lesbos this weekend.
Also known as a cargo shorts convention.
Mom: Do you know her?
M: You know I can tell by the way they walk.
.... Me & Mom at the mall each time we pass a lesbian
I can't think of any sum of money I would not be willing to pay to get the person standing in front of me to stfu.
My current frustration level matches the guilt level a nun feels after masturbating.
Just twisted an ankle standing in the closest trying to take off a pair of shorts in case you were wondering how good of a stripper I'd be.
A friend just asked me if I wanted to go on an 8 mile Canoe trip this Saturday.
I laughed so hard I peed myself.
I often find myself looking in the distance instead of focusing on what's right in front of me.
So I trip and fall a lot.
Just once I want a bath to give me as much energy as one gives my pups.
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.
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