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I find it ironic that the values that make me successful both personally and professionally are the same ones that contribute to my misery.
6: I want to swim with sharks
6: But be in a cage so I'm safe
6: Let's just buy some plastic sharks for the bathtub
I think I just used the wrong toothbrush so I'll be here swallowing bleach if you need me.
Americas Got Talent just made me cry. I hate myself right now.
RT my own tweets?
Y'all do know I delete half the shit I post.
You really think the other half is RT worthy?
It's about managing the waves between life's pleasure and pain.
I'd text to check on you, but I'm afraid you'd call.
Anyway, good luck with your divorce.
F: What are you doing?
Me: I'm enjoying the empty house doing the equivalent of a dude sitting around in his boxers scratching his balls.
Twitter is what you make it.
Stop fucking whining.
I don't see my TC on late night Twitter.
Should I go to her house to see if she went on a RL date?
What? Too desperate? Too creepy?
I'm certain that as a child Hitler acted just like my 6yo when she's tired.
OMG you psychotic fuck. Stop it already.
Me. To myself. Just now.
Anyway, great pep talk.
Well, I certainly didn't make any new friends on the tennis court tonight...
I. Hate. Cunts.
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.
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