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Had a teacher that said...
Never use another word because you can't spell the one you want to use.
That bitch has haunted me for decades.
I ate a raw carrot today.
Tasted like dirt.
Rabbits are stupid.
Even those women that aren't into flowers and cards, are excited to occasionally receive flowers and cards.
Good luck guys!
If the one you need to talk you down off the ledge is the one that drove you there to begin with...
Ma'am, would you like me to place your crying baby in the overhead compartment or would like to shut it after I crawl in?
The guy next to me on the plane just tried to talk to me, so I just kept hissing at him until I could get my headphones on.
That bathroom stench had me mouth breathing in order to survive
Now all I can think about are the tiny stranger shit particles on my tongue
For some ungodly reason I have a smile on my face today and people are smiling back. It's horrifying.
Just watched a woman in her 60's eat a banana, so I'll be here poking out my minds eye if you need me.
Can "small talk" kill you, because I'm certain I'm dying.
Just had an argument with myself about which bed in the hotel room I was going to sleep in if u r wondering how easy I am to get along with
Sometimes when I have on glasses I forget they're not sunglasses & that people can see my eyes & does anyone know how to stop a nosebleed?
You spray me with that perfume and I'll urinate on you and other nice things I say to mall kiosk workers.
Happy Father's Day to the father I lost & to the dad that raised me.
1 nature. 1 nurture.
Both, forever a part of me
Me, forever grateful
Never underestimate the power of kindness...
But officer, we tried to move a piece of furniture together.
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.
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