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  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    If you feel the need to constantly tell people how great you are in bed…

    You’re not.

    If you were, your lovers would be the ones talking.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    just_evolvedMaxine12333lafpghAshleesFianceWittyClittyTheTalkingPipeHeyZeus666casey_blado
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    bgirl314Cdn_BeauTeepineappleiheartknowingsarahpiyush938ladyjazsjunk
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Very glad you’ve come back to us @1tortured_soul … you were missed.

    • 1
    • FAV
    jkrambles
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Silly Putty…

    The original screen shot.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    hashemcmkr_wolfcastlelbsuave_aSolelyBAHoundNamedAlba_eyukKim_berly24TheChickWithThe
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    TifHaleRNSolelyBTheChickWithThemissekayTheTalkingPipekevinrowe1OutofmyIndyheadkuteykinekate
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Anyone know of a class I can take that will teach my how to vacuum my closet without getting shoestrings stuck in the rollers?

    • 15
    • FAVS
    just_evolvedMaxine12333lafpghTheTalkingPipeStephenBCramerSolelyBStellaGMaddoxBruceForce
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    adamjest
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    My BFF* is getting married on 12-13-14 and thinks that’s really cute.

    *Ex-BFF

    • 18
    • FAVS
    Maxine12333TheTalkingPipeStephenBCrameraparticularwaySolelyBBruceForcemikesorohanNiburrific
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    toughkittenKatTravisTrystDrKuntsbobbyloverzFuckPickingName
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Thank you @gay_gene for a ToTD pick that recognizes one of my more tender moments.

    Love ya friend.

    #FF @gay_gene

    • 4
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipeaparticularwaySolelyBTinkerbell_
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    If I wanted you to catch me when I fall I wouldn’t have jumped.

    • 22
    • FAVS
    Jlofarsayspiratequeenxoxlgbk44TheTalkingPipeStephenBCramer_The_Medusa_aparticularwaySolelyB
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    lafpghTheTalkingPipeaparticularwaylovemydogduckAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    See, nothing is impossible.

    If the Raiders can win a football game, you can eventually get laid.

    Chin up.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    joci2203deelacuervopol_e_wogtruetootruegingarailfaithxflippenpiratequeenxoxMichaePeoples09
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    joci2203truetootruegingarailpiratequeenxoxTheTalkingPipeaparticularwaySolelyBgay_gene
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Fantasy football past the trade deadline is like sex without an orgasm…

    What’s the point?

    • 17
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipeStephenBCramerSolelyBTinkerbell_ShutUpThatsWho1HappytwitBlack__Elvissweetg35
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Just read:

    “If you leave anything behind you it should always be acts of kindness, for they light up the world”

    What. The. Fuck. Ever.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipeStephenBCramerSolelyBiwearaonesieBriarSlyMadnessShutUpThatsWhoBIueSunshinelacybronze1
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    OkieGirl405BriarSlyMadness1HappytwitlovemydogduckanerdonfiremjkspeaksroxaroodwLaniBeno
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    I hate it when it’s not worth going outside to smoke cold.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    TheBeerGuy73blueangel_onlyMaxine12333deelacuervolgbk44zachv86TheTalkingPipeStephenBCramer
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    blueangel_onlyMaxine12333zachv86TheTalkingPipeaparticularwaysweetg35OkieGirl405PeaceInTruth1
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    I’m attending my first pre-school recital this morning.

    No wonder all the parents I know day drink.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipesweetg35StephenBCrameraparticularwayMelissaDawn1974TheReal_AndyMacSolelyBHVGFN
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    MelissaDawn1974SolelyBiamszk_ruffyoungiwearaonesieMaxine12333gay_genelovemydogduck
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Can someone please tell this newly acquired 4yo about the benefits of sleeping in on the weekends, because WTF.

    • 36
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipeStephenBCrameraparticularwaySolelyBiwearaonesiePeaceInTruth1MasterOfFuryShutUpThatsWho
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckanerdonfiremjkspeaksFilterlessFemmeUnderchilde
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Nissan…

    Do you not know how the world feels about douchebags in white sunglasses.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipeStephenBCrameraparticularwayiiecpunkTheReal_AndyMacSolelyBiwearaonesiePeaceInTruth1
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    aparticularwaySolelyBlovemydogduckmjkspeaksmissbliss888TravisTrystDrKunts
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Just saw the 50 Shades of Grey movie trailer and as I yawned I ordered extra xanax to brace myself for the next wave of horny housewives.

    • 52
    • FAVS
    Maxine12333screenrobotfilmlgbk44TheTalkingPipeStephenBCramerSolelyBiwearaonesiePeaceInTruth1
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    TheTalkingPipeTitusJudah2ndlast2riselovemydogduckHousewifeOfHellpuffinfinitymjkspeaksUnderchilde
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Thank you @randommanik for the ToTD pick. They should make bacon flavored cigs.

    #FF @randommanik

    • 7
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipeaparticularwayiwearaonesie1HappytwitlovemydogduckTinkerbell_RandomManik
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Thank you my friend for the ToTD pick. Some people like their feedback “filtered”.

    #FF @peaceintruth1

    • 8
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipeiwearaonesielovemydogduckem2the_geesweetg35PeaceInTruth11HappytwitSqueeb_Slayer
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Some say God never gives anyone more than they can handle.

    *takes life inventory*

    I say he’s a shitty judge of character.

    • 37
    • FAVS
    TheTalkingPipeStephenBCramerSolelyBiwearaonesiegirlntapaGiverney666MasterOfFurydaphnepotter69
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    girlntapaMasterOfFury1HappytwitarctichamstermjkspeaksMistyLB78Maxine12333NawtyMynx
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    When my father was killed, my Mom was left with a 2, 9 and 10 year old.

    I never had to look outside my own home to find my superhero.

    • 94
    • FAVS
    StephenBCrameraparticularwaywsorourkeCaniacMONKTheReal_AndyMacSolelyBa_female_bitchTrueTorontoGirl
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    SolelyBgay_genebreely216OkieGirl405MasterOfFurystill_gessicaBriarSlyMadnessTitusJudah
    gay_gene
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    The 4yo just told me to watch my manners so I went ahead and opened her up a FB account, because lame.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    Maxine12333StephenBCramerSolelyBiwearaonesieallthingspoeticMasterOfFury1Happytwitronty167
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckperhapssomedaylafpgh
@One_FineMess

@One_FineMess
Pro

I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.