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  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Just paid for McDonalds with my credit card… classy.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    pineappleiheartJandalizecalluptomesimonchollandangeliav68ElKnuckelhombreCarter_TCBAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    angeliav68Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    The wonderful 4yo I’m always tweeting about. The one with two worthless drug addicted parents.

    She may finally become ours for good!

    • 27
    • FAVS
    pineappleiheartBlack__Elvis_iLadyBirdsimonchollandJesssicleSmartassylassyTheBeerGuy73TrueTorontoGirl
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Just rolled my eyes so hard I lost a contact in my brain.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    pineappleiheartangeliav68AphroditeAfter5Black__Elvis_iLadyBirdLipglosslesboHenry_3kiwearaonesie
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    angeliav68AphroditeAfter5TheGrimKingUnFitzAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    I haven’t felt suicidal in awhile.

    When does Adele come out with her next album?

    • 31
    • FAVS
    Black__ElvisiwearaonesieBitterBeyatchHousewifeOfHellIdeal_VictoriaCurly_gurl135WickedDarkEyessimoncholland
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeyatchTheRoloIdeal_VictoriaWickedDarkEyesMaxine12333Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Based on the amount of Gatorade the 16 drinks, it seems that sitting on the couch playing with your phone requires a shit ton of rehydration

    • 29
    • FAVS
    _iLadyBirdiwearaonesieBitterBeyatchHousewifeOfHellIdeal_VictoriaMaxine12333JesssicleBlack__Elvis
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    iwearaonesieBitterBeyatchHousewifeOfHellUnderchildeAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Are we still doing Ebola tweets or have those died off…

    • 75
    • FAVS
    SuMacDan_iLadyBirdiwearaonesieBitterBeyatchsweetg35loribuckmajorSharpeBytesSondraDeeMe
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeyatchloribuckmajorSondraDeeMeWickedDarkEyesMaxine12333firebrand3BruceForce2thestreetz
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    I’ve recently decided that God only helps those that don’t deserve it, so I’ve decided to become an even bigger asshole.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieBitterBeyatchHousewifeOfHellIdeal_VictoriaWickedDarkEyesMaxine12333JesssicleBlack__Elvis
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeyatchOutOnTheMoorspineappleiheartjust1foolAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    I switched cell phone providers today and I’ve ever felt more alive.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    beccafacexoiwearaonesieBitterBeyatchHousewifeOfHellBlack__ElvisBruceForcesimonchollandSergioValenCo
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeyatchjust1foolTerribleTracy2Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Apparently “narcissistic asshole” isn’t considered “constructive” feedback when doing peer evaluations at work.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieBitterBeyatchHousewifeOfHellWickedDarkEyesMaxine12333JesssiclekathybotteasBlondAmbitionTO
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeyatchHousewifeOfHellBruceForcedbgindyOutOnTheMoorslightworker64just1foolUncleBob56
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    I had to go see a podiatrist today, so if you know of any good old folks homes in your area let me know.

    FML

    • 43
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieBitterBeyatchHousewifeOfHellWickedDarkEyesMaxine12333kathybotteasBruceForceGensPlace
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    iwearaonesieBitterBeyatchMaxine12333BruceForcejust1foolSamePageDifDaylvvzzmjkspeaks
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    You try to bring back those fucking “spirit animal” tweets and I’ll shoot you, stuff you and hang you above my mantel.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    LipglosslesboiwearaonesieHousewifeOfHellWickedDarkEyesB_OutalineBaeBitch1just1foolstarwarsshirt
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    just1foolSassyTexasGalIdeal_VictoriapineappleiheartStryfe74
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    As long as I’ve been at this you’d think I’d have found an easy way to crawl out of the darkness.

    But demons learn new tricks too.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieHousewifeOfHellWickedDarkEyesdbgindyBaeBitch1just1foolstarwarsshirtSassyTexasGal
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    dbgindyBaeBitch1just1foolSassyTexasGalIdeal_VictoriaimtoopixieforuStryfe74Avatar_unknown_48
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Thank you @ideal_victoria for the ToTD pick. I guess being easily irritated sometimes pays off.

    #FF @ideal_victoria

    • 5
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieJubafisherIdeal_Victorialovemydogducknotprettybitch
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Ideal_Victoria
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    I need to make the bed.

    *takes nap*

    • 34
    • FAVS
    beccafacexoiwearaonesieJesssiclestarwarsshirtBirdhummsmjkspeaksshakeygeckosweetg35
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    iwearaonesiemjkspeaksJubafisheriBLOOdyNONSENSEchrismerrillSassyTexasGalTheBoydPIdeal_Victoria
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

    There are some dreams that will fuck with your head all day.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    LipglosslesboJesssiclestarwarsshirtstillsomedumguy__yesterdaygirlynyx00_theMisTchristinawilder
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    yesterdaygirlytexasstalkermomHow_Hardybsnc64mc_funbagsTnucTewSassyTexasGalmjkspeaks
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    If I’m ever in a coma and someone wakes me up, I’m going to be really pissed.

    • 85
    • FAVS
    beccafacexostarwarsshirtSassyTexasGalHeyZeus666mjkspeaksuberfoxyHenry_3kBonaFideIntent
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    beccafacexoEnthonyRobbinsmjkspeaksshakeygeckoJubafisherfacciabellakathymvaccaroiBLOOdyNONSENSE
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Thanks for boring me.

    *quickly shuts door after company leaves*

    • 36
    • FAVS
    beccafacexoMaxine12333JesssicleSassyTexasGalshakeygeckoSaraPuckett11SuperNerdyGeekCarter_TCB
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    SassyTexasGalSaraPuckett11iBLOOdyNONSENSETheBoydPDJLIWIKZUnderchildeIdeal_Victoria2thestreetz
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Oh. You have one of those, he has his mistress, I have his money relationships.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    WickedDarkEyesMaxine12333JesssiclestarwarsshirtshakeygeckoCarter_TCBTheBoydPBlack__Elvis
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSETheBoydPDJLIWIKZ2Sassy4321Youarelame2anerdonfirepranay_srivatsmarebytes
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    Thank you @gerryhallcomedy for the ToTD pick. I assume you stay as pissed off as I do. ;-)

    #FF @gerryhallcomedy

    • 4
    • FAVS
    TheBoydPIdeal_VictoriaStephenBCramergerryhallcomedy
  • One_FineMess
      Dakota @One_FineMess

    It’s amazing how you fuckers can brighten my day.

    Sorry… that’s about as sentimental as I get.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    beccafacexoWickedDarkEyesshakeygeckouberfoxyThaFoxRealReallyAmReillyCarter_TCBLin_Baker
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    ReallyAmReillyTheBoydPFytoeDJLIWIKZFilthypigeon80Cheetoe4parupaajX_xMunchies_S
@One_FineMess

@One_FineMess
Pro

I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.