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Janeane Garofalo, Ted Alexandro, Jim Gaffigan , DC Benny and Judah Friedlander on one show...and still some lady wouldn't shut up.
I wish my girlfriend loved me as much as she loves gay guys.
Happy 3rd year anniversary, New York. It's been like a fairy tail where I'm always broke and cold.
'Gangnam Style' has been viewed 1.9bil times on Youtube. I'm probably a good 1.2mil of that.
Justin Beiber and my oldest daughter are the same age. Just kidding. He's older. But they are the same sex.
I always laugh when I tell someone I finished taking a nap because I'm never finished.
Hey I just want to point out that there hasn't been one Hispanic comedian on 'Comedian in Cars Getting Coffee'. Que pasa, Jerry Seinfeld?
House of Cards is gonna fuck all your girlfriends tonight.
Standing in a group of others eating dollar slices of pizzas. I can't help but think, I found my people.
I just listen to a TED Talk sober. Wow that was boring.
My girlfriend is drunk. So I think I'm gonna take advantage of her and ask her why she's dating me.
This audience loves my in between material more than my up front, trying to establish myself to them, material. It's complicated.
Comedian - NYC - Listen to me weekly on The Hammerfisting Podcast on itunes - Sometimes I'm on the road