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Some girl got 3 tits? Pffft. I have 4 tits every time I sit down.
I think I'm just more surprised that a black person lives in Alaska rather than her quitting by saying "fuck this job".
Janeane Garofalo, Ted Alexandro, Jim Gaffigan , DC Benny and Judah Friedlander on one show...and still some lady wouldn't shut up.
I think a real sex tape of Cameron Diaz would fail at the box office also.
Dinner party is going great. I've shifted from anti social to 'guy that can't stop eating'.
I wish my girlfriend loved me as much as she loves gay guys.
Once you have a kid who turns 18 and is fully an adult. You realize the word adult means nothing.
My dog ate some kale off the floor. What a fucking hipster.
Mulaney should have been called Whiteish.
Tinder but for burger joints.
Comic appearing on @AXStv @iamroadcomic and weekly on @hammerfisting podcast
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