My dad just txt "Are you home for dinner?" And first response that came to mind was "Bitch I might be" #gucci

Sex and sleep are 2 pretty cool things that I get neither of

You girls haven't even brushed your teeth yet this morning and you're already posting pics from 2006

Driving to Ottawa for Mother's Day with my mom and her mother and a Kelly Clarkson cd... Should have just got them both cards and slept in

after so many damn pop-ups I've decided to just start listening to "The Ex-Girlfriends" so the pop-ups don't bother me anymore

Blake Shelton's new album all day

I eat Fudgsicles for blinner every single day.

Yes blinner is (breakfast/lunch/dinner)

Slept under a pile of tshirts and sweatpants last night because someone fucking puked on my bed!!!!


(It was me) :(

The only family tradition I know is that I show up to every family affair hungover like never before, they really appreciate it

Woke up with a Spot stamp... the worst...

Waking up sober on a Sunday.. This is new

Whoever brings me soup right now will win the "person who brought Brett soup" award

Anyone else ever end the microwave timer with a 9 cause you think at the last second maybe it could use a little more time?

Weed brownies and telescopes

Must stop drunk snapchatting....

Is it Tuna day at Subway!? Wahoooo guess who's going to Wendy's !

Personal Reminder: purchase peach juice tomorrow cause that shit is fucking tasty!

Hahaha @clarkie6 ain't a fan of the boys hacking darts up front eh @bigsteac pic.twitter.com/EPrsZ9kY4d

In honour of International Women's Day I'm going to drink this 26er of Vodka and pass out before I can hit on all of you

Girls are the worst.