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Its not that I hate everyone, its just that everyone is stupid and I hate stupid people
So wait, America is ok with a contest celebrating a man shoving meat down his throat & yet Gay Marriage still isn't legal in all 50 states?
Whenever I am extremely bored with life I post a political status on facebook and watch my friends battle each other like its crips v bloods
Hey, Michelle Duggar - ITS A VAGINA! Not a god damn clown car!
I won't be making any Tsunami jokes. I do however wish the Tsunami would have wiped out the Westboro Baptists instead
I hope that Westboro Baptist CUNT Margie J. Phelps and her entire family & cult cunt followers dies in a fucking fire of AIDS
I love how Twitter offers a verified option for people that are Famous. They should offer me a verified account by verifying i'm a cunt
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy asking him to last longer than 30 seconds...
Just got asked by a friend what I thought my wedding song would be. I replied "Smack my Bitch Up" and they hung up on me.
If I follow you, and you live tweet the #VMA's I won't just block & report you for spam, I will find you from your location map & murder you
Jose Baez sounds like he's reading a Seinfeld script "George is worried about George. George is taking care of George" #ClosingArguments
I'll never commit twittercide but I'm down to commit a few twurders!
By the way I want to congratulate Amy Winehouse on 3 weeks of sobriety. Keep up the great work!!
After being subjected to 3 Rihanna songs in a row, I'm not saying I condone it but I can understand why Chris Brown punched her
By the way, its been awhile since I've done Anal but I'm assuming paying $45 to park a car for a concert is what it feels like
Twitter: Where everyone who doesn't have the balls to be an actual comic can be one from the privacy of their mom's basement