Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
What did the one BlackBerry say to the other? Nothing.
Mother says that alcohol is my enemy, Jesus says that I must love my enemy...
I'm scared that if I tweet something truly genius this late, it won't get the recognition it deserves...
Jesus: "Need an ark? I Noah guy"
Vagina jokes aren't fanny. Period.
Why did the chicken cross the road? A better question is: Why do u need to judge people by their choices in life to make urself feel better?
Grab someone dyslexic, tell em' "ehy"
My dad's best friend looks a lot like me. Such a funny coincidence.
I just discovered Favstar... So this is what people mean when they say people "star" their tweets? I feel old.
When I was 5, my mom used to pretend not to know me in shopping centres. She'd ask if I was lost & where my mom was. I still cry at night...
If you can't put the cap back on the toothpaste then you can get the fuck out of my life.
First question I ask friends who've just been overseas: "Where's my present?"
If cock was a food, you'd be obese...
BlackBerry must be a female. Only a woman can ignore you for three days flat and then pretend nothing was wrong...
My parents are divorced? #thingsyounoticewhenBBisbroken
"I don't know what to do, I'm just hungry, all the time..." *sobs* - Oprah
Complain, it's the white thing to do.