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It always makes me nervous when I go through Taco Bell's drive through, and the kid who hands me my food is in a exceptional happy mood...
I told my wife that I didn't get her anything because she didn't get me anything on my day (Super Bowl Sunday) & I'm the one on the couch?
Just saw a commercial for a prescription, the side effects are worse than the desease. Have a cold? Try this, side effects may include Hep C
Have you ever unwrapped candy and the wrapper is keeps getting stuck to it and ya think "the hell with it" and chuck it?! Yeah...me neither
I just ate my pizza in the shower. Definitely the most productive thing I've done all day
This guy struggled for 5 minutes with his keyless entry. Do you think I should go tell him that the key will get him in also?
So the local short bus has "Mountain Ridge Head Start" on the side.....to me, that doesn's seem to fit really well
Why doesn't ESPN give people a translator or at least subtitles for NASCAR events, so the rest of America can try & figure out whats goin on