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John Hurt has been 100 years old for 45 years.
Do I hint of V shape?
40 is the 20 where your face is baggy and your hair is almost gone and your erection is kind of soft and spongy.
I choked on my bagel and then bit my cheek. #fuckmondaysamiright?
Just said tornado over the spare and ace museum. #spoonerism
Just found out my sperm are conservative. Now I know how the Keaton's felt while raising Alex. #familyties #dumbspermjoke #ihatemyself
#StopMarryingFags #amIRightFolks #nyquilVsSuperBowl #teenage_stories these are the top #hashtags congrats!!!
I'm working with runway models today, they look like Deer People. They somehow grew hands instead of fuzzy black hooves.
If you can read this tweet, the bitch fell off!
Shouldn't Edward Cullen's sperm be dead?
how far into a first date should the man cry? in case i get one.
Went to the Natural Museum, they tried to put me back in the Neanderthal exhibit. They thought I fell out.
If you can read this tweet, THE BITCH FELL OFF! ---------------------(lazy sometimes stand up in NYC)