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I am fed up with all these incest jokes about us Kentuckians. It's offensive to me as well as Uncle Dad.
The ottoman and the desk chair get it on when the lights are off. Lazy Susan told me
Nope I don't follow everyone.
This is because I'm incapable of following all & giving the attention I like to those I follow.
My bad Xxx
When stalking at your home while you're away, I like to lay out the clothes that I want you to wear.
Sometimes your demons and addictions are the most loyal friends you have in life.
I see what you did! Using apathy & your overwhelming ugliness to convince me Mother Nature hates you enough for the both of us. Well played.
I just met up with 3 good friends for brunch, apparently we all have iPhones & couldn't care less about interacting with each other!
You: <joke> I'll show myself out.
Me: YES! I never have to read another fuckin tweet of yours ever again!
You: <another tweet>
Me: Fuck you!
Statistically, 1 in 25 of us lives next door to a pedophile.
Not me though.
I live next to a fucking stunning pair of seven year olds.
My pickup line is "Hey baby, wanna go to my place, eat cheeseburgers and fuck?" If she walks away, I assume she's a vegetarian.
Ma used to say I was wasting my time on twitter.
Until I found my future husband here.
That shut her up pretty damn quick Xxx
Insomnia. Because my brain doesn't do enough cluster-fuck cart-wheels anyhow.
160 characters? How am I suppose to deal with that
