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"Let it BeHead " --Jihadi John
Ray J's dick just paid for another Jenner/Kardashian mansion.
I'll take Iron Eagle Chappy over Robot Chappie, any day of the week.
If only I could eat pussy with the same intensity that my cat displays while licking a plastic bag.
From Justin to Kelly, But now it looks like Kelly ate Justin.
Bruce Jenner runs like a girl.
BREAKING NEWS: According to an inside source, Nationwide's first choice was Etan Patz.
🎵If I only had a dick🎵 --Fat guy from the Wizard of Oz.
This is Suge knight's biggest hit in 18yrs since The Notorious B.I.G.
BREAKING NEWS: Bill Cosby hires Bill Belichick to be his lawyer.
BREAKING NEWS: Johnny Manziel traded to the New England Patriots.
*changes name to Johnny "deflated" Football
Relationship status: The TMZ voice over guy gets more pussy than I do.
My New Years resolution.. is to get Taylor Swift to eat.
"Suck my Glock" --Homo thug
Q: What do fat people smoke to get high?
A: A fast food joint.
Fat, bald and I have a small dick, Emmy winning comedy writer @caspermartinez still lets me write with him. http://favstar.fm/users/PAT_E_ROCK/tweets_of_the_day
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