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BREAKING NEWS: Ray Lewis' statue stabs Ben Roethlisberger in the parking lot at M&T Bank stadium.
Thanks for the subtweet dude!
How appropriate would it be after every time Michael Sam sacks the QB, he does the *jerk-off motion.
Relationship status: My DirecTV satellite goes out more than I do.
When terrorists have sex, do they ask.. who's your Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi bitch?
Ray Rice protects the football better than he protects his wife.
The water drought in California is so bad, that someone broke into my cousins house and stole his waterbed.
Even though Starsky & Hutch was horrible to begin with, hard to believe its been 10yrs since Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson made it worse.
My black girlfriend wants to open a furniture store in East NY Brooklyn and call it.. IKEISHA.
I hope UPS doesn't deliver the two kids I ordered from the Texas border to the wrong address.. They got chores to do.
3- Carl Lewis
2- Usain Bolt
1- Jason Voorhees
A top 3 list of the Worlds fastest men of all time.
Fat,bald and I have a small dick. Emmy winning comedy writer @caspermartinez still lets me write with him.I RT A LOT which makes me one of twitters most hated!