Ok, let's do this: retweet this tweet linking The Innocence Project (innocenceproject.org). Donate or not, but I'll give $1 for each retweet

Facebook is why we can't have nice things.

Every time you wave your iPhone in a figure 8 to "fix compass interference", Steve Jobs collects a buck on the bet he made with Schiller.

I'll never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.

If Apple allowed it, some idiot would be charging 9 cents for his iPhone app, and some bigger idiot would be bitching about the price.

iOS 5: Now with anonymous wang photos, even on locked phones!

Four simple words that worked at age 9 and still work at age 29:

"Wanna go ride bikes?"

Guys, the weather is so nice. Let's have the internet outside today.

Ultimately, Carmen Sandiego's greatest crime was her egregious carbon footprint.

Maybe it isn't a sport, but I'll tell you this much: not once has the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest ended in a 0-0 tie.

"Bond. Gaylord Bond." #1stdraftmovielines

Can we agree that the execution of innocent individuals is absolutely unacceptable? Donate to The Innocence Project: http://t.co/Inu3zANx

$399 iPads, spotted at my local TJ Maxx today: http://j.mp/dvhHYm A 4-pack of boxer-briefs (not pictured) was also a very reasonable $12.99.

A cold, gray morning.

A government form set entirely in Comic Sans.

Somewhere in the distance, a dog howls balefully.

My brain joins in.

If Tilda Swinton doesn't just sign her emails "~", she's missing out on a great time saver.

Attendees at the GOP Debate booed a gay soldier. I have no joke, because Jesus Fucking Christ, they booed a soldier http://t.co/GHHAfS5P

The one good thing about a visible breast tattoo on an otherwise cute girl is that at least you know she makes bad decisions.

I wath into coffee befaw it wath cool.

As I understand it, Farmville is just World of Warcraft for your mom.

Since AT&T has turned on MMS for iPhone users, we can finally get in on the whole 'sexting' thing.

Now, where exactly do I insert my penis?