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I bet an aging Sysiphus said of his spouse, "She is my rock."
I dare say Reagan's mind is as fresh today at 100 as it was 30 years ago.
boychild: how do I know you're not a copy? me: ask me a question only I would know. him: how do you get an elephant out of a tub of jello?
please accept my apologies, dear tulips, wisteria, magnolias; none of you make my heart sparkle like the cherry blossoms do.
I've heard there's something called a g-spot, but I can't seem to put my finger on it.
some people are anti-fanity. not me. I'm pro.
boychild: if Usain Bolt turned into a zombie, could we outrun him?
got chatted up by 3-yr-old at laundromat today. still got it.
I know I shouldn't, but I kept giggling at last night's gymnastics announcers' "Victoria Combover" and "Dingalingaling"
6 a.m. nursery rhyme: Drug store trip for Pedialyte. Guess what someone did all night.
I love how my phone's autocorrect changes "sinner" to "winner"
Finnegans Wake Me Up Before You Go Go #popmusiclit
holy smokes. as of today, wonderwife has been MY wonderwife for 15 years.
One Day Anne Hathaway Will Master An English Accent, But Not Today #FullLengthMovieTitles
let's start a rock band called "The Doubt" and only play benefits.
it was one of those sunsets that made you forget to pick your kid up from daycare #badnoir
sorry about the freezing weather, everyone; I know it's because we got haircuts.
"Darn. I just dropped my toothpaste," he said crestfallenly. #tomswifties
somehow I know our tube of Neosporin won't disclose its location to me until I buy a new one
Boychild: I blame all that's bad about manhattan on taxis.
Authority Figure; WaitWait Limericist; Cage Free Trophy Husband