I bet an aging Sysiphus said of his spouse, "She is my rock."

I dare say Reagan's mind is as fresh today at 100 as it was 30 years ago.

boychild: how do I know you're not a copy? me: ask me a question only I would know. him: how do you get an elephant out of a tub of jello?

please accept my apologies, dear tulips, wisteria, magnolias; none of you make my heart sparkle like the cherry blossoms do.

I've heard there's something called a g-spot, but I can't seem to put my finger on it.

some people are anti-fanity. not me. I'm pro.

boychild: if Usain Bolt turned into a zombie, could we outrun him?

got chatted up by 3-yr-old at laundromat today. still got it.

I know I shouldn't, but I kept giggling at last night's gymnastics announcers' "Victoria Combover" and "Dingalingaling"

6 a.m. nursery rhyme: Drug store trip for Pedialyte. Guess what someone did all night.

I love how my phone's autocorrect changes "sinner" to "winner"

Finnegans Wake Me Up Before You Go Go #popmusiclit

holy smokes. as of today, wonderwife has been MY wonderwife for 15 years.

One Day Anne Hathaway Will Master An English Accent, But Not Today #FullLengthMovieTitles

let's start a rock band called "The Doubt" and only play benefits.

it was one of those sunsets that made you forget to pick your kid up from daycare #badnoir

sorry about the freezing weather, everyone; I know it's because we got haircuts.

"Darn. I just dropped my toothpaste," he said crestfallenly. #tomswifties

somehow I know our tube of Neosporin won't disclose its location to me until I buy a new one

Boychild: I blame all that's bad about manhattan on taxis.