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I want to get an Impala just so I can call it Vlad.
me, to boychild: yo mamma so sweet, I'd marry her all over. boychild: [eyeroll]
If have to do the math to see if something's "worth it," it's probably not.
Me: wind is god, farting. Boychild: no, it's god sighing at that joke.
the cat is now shredding my newspaper. did he read my previous tweet?
SAT experience tells me that, In vote for Scottish independence, "yes" is a trick. The correct answer is C, "aye." (It's always C.)
I think my third eye needs Visine.
Fact: parents acquire tastes on order to keep from sharing with offspring. I'm up to 80+% cocoa in my chocolate by now.
At National Archives. Saw original Constitution et al. Got choked up. Where has my cynicism gone?
I'd call my autobiography "About the Author." Then I'd have an "about the author" bit at the end, saying "did you pay attention at all?"
I've noticed that our cat makes the floorboards creak. Maybe he's not quite done with his diet after all.
Overheard at museum restaurant: "...Christmas tree and lots of sexual symbolism..." I gotta find that one!
Just saw an ad that said "every wine we make is unique" - I think they're just rebranding "we have terrible quality control"
shouldn't we call egoists id-ists? discuss.
The first cliché of the day is the sweetest.
Girlchild: you're never too old for a tantrum.
Or, better: I might have photographic memory, but I think I'm using the wrong chemicals in my darkroom.
I have photographic memory, but no darkroom.
Is it time for Easter egg baseball yet?
wonderwife, in spite of all her sophistication, is not beyond the occasional pun. earlier today: I left my harp in Sam Clam's disco.
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