'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not any Skrillex was wubbing, nor even Deadmau5

the world isn't going to end in 2012 because the animal crossing clock goes up to 2035

#EjaculatingPhrases there goes my kids all over your face

You hear about the owner of Tony's Bistro? He pasta away. We cannoli do so much to make his legacy a pizza history. Here today gone tomato

kiss me under the camel toe

CUT MY JEANS INTO PIECES, I NOW HAVE BAD ASS JORTS

here's to you, mrs. robinson, jesus can shoot lasers from his eyes

give me liberty or give me meth

i can tell if people are fat by the way they type

Congratulations Whitney Houston on 12 months of sobriety! You made it to a year! So proud of you girl!!!!!

Toy Story 4: Andy drops out of college and lives in his mom's basement with his sword collection and fedoras and watches anime with the toys

get rich or try dying

I want to have sex with a girl with no arms or legs so I can spin her around on my dick like a dreidel

pussy bald like Caillou

Congratulations Amy Winehouse on 1 year of sobriety!!!!!

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't get over how big its genitals are.

Concentration Camp Rock: The Jonas Brothers time travel back to 1940 and jam out in order to win the Battle of the Bands against The Nazis.

Congratulations Whitney Houston for being 4 months sober today!!!

RT if you are dolan

when Sonic the Hedgehog masturbates and cums does it sound like gold rings spilling out all over the place