what word do you think is more offensive "cunt" or "roomie"

My phone corrects "gryffindor" to "GRYFFINDOR" because fuck yeah/you.

"You've got some nerve!" -a joke all neurologists make, probably

i fully intend on sending everyone who is not in love with me to jail

The way girls act in public restrooms disgusts me.

.@kotex Keep up the good work!

Hell is figuring out other people's showers.

I asked my dad if abortion was legal in all of Canada and he said "It's actually preferred."

My dad just slid a "Young People and AA" pamphlet under my door.

Coldplay is worse than Nickelback because COLDPLAY IS DOING IT ON PURPOSE.

I think some rain got into my coffee so it was nice knowing you guys.

Hi, I'm Paige. I'm eighteen years old and I don't know how to peel a banana.

list your top 10 favourite sandwich artists

why do you people care about your lawns so much they won't protect you from anything everyone should get moats with sharks

i want to cuddle a real live human person right now but i also don't want to be around a real live human person at all

It's okay for you to call people fags on Facebook, but I can't say homophobia is wrong on there? That's horseshit.

Hey Dr. Oz, how 'bout you calm down with that health bullshit?

.@westsidethunder does "low-cut" tops also apply to boys wearing v-necks?

Squirrels do masturbate. I looked it up.

Today we celebrate the resurrection of Lannisters who committed incest for your sins. Happy Game of Thrones Day everyone!