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That's National #Smores Day. Not National Whores Day. Bitches get too many days already. Like Valentines Day & Free STD testing day.
I'm starting to feel awkward that I told my new therapist I was a unicorn.
She just wasn't ready yet.
Do these Craigslist escorts always take this long?
I don't even want to be escorted anywhere anymore.
Just send your stalker a pic of that giant boil on your ass. That outta take care of it.
Just sayin, Worked for me.
Why do I feel like Twitter is Life's version of After School Detention? #BreakfastClub
I got over fifty followers in 3 days. First handy goes to @saraespivey The rest of you fuckers can like my fingers.
I just got 12 new followers from my encounter with @saraespivey. This must be what it feels like to be gang banged. #AllTingly
Breaking News! Men are Not mind readers! I repeat, men are Not mind readers! Oh? We knew this already?
People finding Love all over Twitter. I just want to find someone that puts the toilet paper roll on right.
When people say they want honesty but can't give it or take it.
Already locks them in as a liar. Yes?
Hey Twitter Whore, 'They Don't know Me', doesn't work anymore.
Cuz, Yes. Yes they Do.
I was on a social network strike for 2 days. All I wanted to do was tell everyone about it. But I forgot my MySpace pw.
Welcome to the Pits. Bring Coffee. Don't stay too long. Say something funny. I do hair most of the time. Oh, & I'm a Unicorn..shhhh
