Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
So I creep. yeah
Ps I've chosen Tequila over you before.
You shouldn't masturbate with wet nail polish.
That's National #Smores Day. Not National Whores Day. Bitches get too many days already. Like Valentines Day & Free STD testing day.
I'm starting to feel awkward that I told my new therapist I was a unicorn.
She just wasn't ready yet.
Do these Craigslist escorts always take this long?
I don't even want to be escorted anywhere anymore.
I am the visitor here, I'm not permanent.
Just send your stalker a pic of that giant boil on your ass. That outta take care of it.
Just sayin, Worked for me.
Why do I feel like Twitter is Life's version of After School Detention? #BreakfastClub
Don't ever tell a crazy person to Get a Grip. They only choke you harder.
I'm not giving up, I'm just starting over.
Breaking News! Men are Not mind readers! I repeat, men are Not mind readers! Oh? We knew this already?
People finding Love all over Twitter. I just want to find someone that puts the toilet paper roll on right.
When people say they want honesty but can't give it or take it.
Already locks them in as a liar. Yes?
Hey Twitter Whore, 'They Don't know Me', doesn't work anymore.
Cuz, Yes. Yes they Do.
I was on a social network strike for 2 days. All I wanted to do was tell everyone about it. But I forgot my MySpace pw.
Pain killers equal Truth serum?
Welcome to the Pits. Bring Coffee. Don't stay too long. Say something funny. I do hair most of the time. Oh, & I'm a Unicorn..shhhh