Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'm going to name my kid Skeletor, and just sit back and watch how his personality plays out.
Went to the doctor; thought I had ADD because I stop paying attention when someone is talking to me.
Turns out I'm just kind of a dick.
Pitching new idea for show,
"America's got Chlamydia"
I'm afraid it'll turn into another Kardashian reality show, though.
Saw shit smeared on the side of a dumpster.
There's no punchline, I just thought it was funny and sad.
I like my women like I like my cake; cut up and served on fancy plates to my house guests.
I hope this prostitute will accept my coupon for a free hug!
I wonder if there's a middle-aged guy out there who's only ever masturbated once.
No, Jenny Craig, the fastest way to lose 30 pounds is not your diet. The fastest way is to cut off your legs.
I hate it when my opera cape gets caught in homeless people's junk. #GetAJob