Women know within seconds of viewing your Avi whether or not they'd allow you to eat their pussy. #fact



(99.9% of men = #epicfail)

Hey! I gotta question! If a guy watches Glee and wants you to play with his ass... What's that mean?

To all my new followers.. Fuck you!
Get use to it, I swear a lot!

To my older followers.. Fuck you too!
Don't want you to feel left out.

I hate when ppl bake pineapple upside cake with lemon cake mix and think it tastes good. No. It tastes like lemon shit! Use yellow cake mix!

Don't get all surprised when I post my boob pic next week, its to support breast cancer, I don't wanna hear no shit!

When the guys at work break to chat about sports, I sign into Twitter.

Why do we feel it's important to chat about bullshit just to feel comfortable?

Only fat people will stare at your food and mouth while you eat. Makes me wanna throw it at their face!

I don't discriminate, I hate everyone!

I may say a lot of offensive shit today! You should just unfollow now!

Last night, I told this gamer online to Go Suck A Bears Dick!



Today, I'm going to tell gamers I hope a Bear Fucks Them In The Ass!

Okay, enough of the BS... I need coffee now! Coffee, and I'm gonna watch Dawn of Dead and comment on things I would have done differently.

I almost got into a fight tonight too! My son threw the ball from left center to home, my bro caught the ball at home, went to tag the guy

UGh, dude with the stuffed dog in his cubicle is back from vacation. He sounds like weasel, wish he would STFU! No one cares you cornball!

She is hilarious. We were ordering food and she did her thing where she speaks Spanish to the waitress so the waitress gets nervous. Lol

What's the matter with people? Why the fuck do you come sit next to me when the entire movie theater is empty? Seriously?

Joe Paterno... Fuck him... Period!



The above was my impression of a sheep.

Indian dude just got on with an aluminum briefcase. Shhhh...

I think she introduced her son because she just wanted me to know some crazy ass man fucked her gigantic, ugly ass before. I'm not surprised

Love that I got two days off, then working from home, then a holiday weekend and me, I'm picking up MW3 tonight!!!