Twitter is the only place where it's safe to be followed by blacks.

When im at a public urinal I like to turn to the guy next to me and say"Good job buddy!!"Then offer a Hi5..

THUG LIFE wish I never tattooed that on my nuts

Stealing your neighbors Wifi don't make you gangsta.

I like the clapper cause when ur masturbating your room turns into a rave.

I find black ghosts hilarious.

Is there a difference between the hip hop term Swagger and rheumatoid arthritis?

Instead of porn I bet the twitter elite just masturbate to there favstar.

9-10-01 We were Mexican Americans, African Americans,Irish Americans etc 9-11-01 We became known has just AMERICAN!!

I use to laugh then twitter came now i just fake laugh and press LOL and star funny shit I want my soul back DAMMM YOU TWITTER HELL!!

My comedy is the equivalent of lighting your farts.

#FF People infected with the tweets @spotswoj @jstcallmefrank @kimkardashian @izzy4el @lisafarted @douchefuck all very funny except one

I bet Rosie O Donnel's asshole looks like Zach Galifanakis's mouth.

The good thing about watching women's tennis on loud is that my neighbors think that Im having rough sex.

Cunt me in~A typo I sent to my Mom in an email..Awkward

Petting your cat then realizing its your GF's grandmas leg and she had been dead for awhile #AwkwardMoments

I want to go through life without getting stabbed and face fucked.

Im so self absorbed if you don't reply to me right away in a text. I just assume ur dead or masturbating.

When I want to get out of a ticket I will show some foreskin.

hell hole #TerribleNamesForAVagina