@PartyPance's (SexyQ) most faved Tweets...
I star everything that makes me smile. I wish they had an oral sex icon so I could give an extra special something to the ones that make lol
Bitch on the treadmill next to me smirked after I got off after two miles. I felt bad. Then I tripped her. I feel accomplished again.
Brought my 21 year old cousin to this wedding so that she can experience this most momentous occasion.
Open bar.
Open bar.
My mom doesn't like my jokes.
I drove her to the strip club so we could "pick up my paycheck". I told her I was jk. They pay me in cash.
I drove her to the strip club so we could "pick up my paycheck". I told her I was jk. They pay me in cash.
Woman at gym: Do we change clothes in front of everybody?
Me: Yes, where else would we get our crippling self-hate?
Woman: ........ Oh. Ok.
Me: Yes, where else would we get our crippling self-hate?
Woman: ........ Oh. Ok.
I just stabbed my coworker in the throat with my pen.
Its too early to tell, but nobody seems to be buying my emergency tracheotomy story.
Its too early to tell, but nobody seems to be buying my emergency tracheotomy story.
Drank Mexican beer on Friday, German beer on Saturday, and Dutch beer on Sunday. Soon my liver will be better traveled than the rest of me.
I got up, ran 3 miles, drank coffee, masturbated, ate ice cream, and yelled at little people. All before going to work.
Carpe fuckin diem.
Carpe fuckin diem.
My commute to work is 4 orgasms.
That would be an hour or 40 miles for those of you that measure distance that way.
That would be an hour or 40 miles for those of you that measure distance that way.
Have you ever saw some hawt shoes, followed by hawt legs, followed by hawt ass, followed by hawt bewbz, followed by HOLYSHITWTFHAPPENED??!!!
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