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Believe it or not, it's actually possible to get drunk and not tweet about it. Really. It is.
I'm pretty sure I'm not doing this right...
Nothing is worse than a bad nights sleep.
That's* pretty fucked up.
twitter is basically just for celebrities and crazy people.
i think im kind of a hipster.
Alright. I guess it's about time to start making bad decisions.
The people for whom twitter is a popularity contest, should probably be more efficient with their time.
I'm so glad those Keebler elves were able to steal the samoa recipe from those little girls so I can eat them year round.
It always amazes me how quickly girls change "hes such a nice guy" to "he's a fucking asshole".
Vegas was so good I can't even tweet the deets.
don't believe anything you read on Twitter. Or believe it all. Whichever.
HAHAHA! That is all.
It's often easier for us to tell others how to live their lives than it is to give ourselves good advice.
I won't marry a girl that doesn't want to make me sandwiches.
She's funny, she's just not Twitter funny...
I feel really uncomfortable when i see ugly people buying condoms.