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They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that's a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
What Hollywood has taught me is that a camera actually does steal a person's soul just as the natives always feared.
When someone asks, "what are you doing tomorrow?" I panic.
The ability to build dramatic suspense by counting to three in a furious crescendo is the most important skill of a parent.
Good dads don't need to intimidate their daughter's boyfriends, they raise a girl capable of destroying a boy all by herself.
I'd eat more oranges if they had a zipper.
Oh, the humor I could create with 142 characters, but this fascist system forces me into mediocrity.
Are we totally sure Snookie isn't Chris Farley doing the best bit ever.
Follow your screams.
The best way to breakup with your girlfriend is to stay married to her for 15 years.
Dude, I'm totally wasted. - my potential
Solved the mystery of the poop smell and the truth is going to devastate this entire community.
It is now more difficult to remain anonymous than become famous.
It should be called twittercide when you open an account.
Sorry about my confusion, it's my first time living a life.
You will find exactly what you're looking for and it will not be enough.
Manatees were dolphins when they were single.
Never make decisions according to superstition or something bad will happen.
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