State machines are often overkill have you considered a county machine or even a census designated place machine?

If you drove an NSCar north over the Golden Gate Bridge, would it be a toll-free bridged CFCar when it gets to Marin?

"What sort of insurance do you have?"
"I have a PPPoE plan."
"A PPO?"
"Yes, because that is a medical plan and not a networking protocol."

Anyone who says "no harm in looking" doesn't understand Schrödinger's Cat.

The home network topology is starting to grow out of control maybe it’s time to call a lanscaper

That moment when you think you’re not drunk but you stand up and realize that we’re all beautiful and everything is connected but fuck Java

Guys, I think I might be a functional alcoholic.

Whenever I drink I find myself programming a bunch of Haskell and OCaml.

http://t.co/ZQSyfVN8

When a programmer says "non-trivial", he really means "run away!"

@avalkyrie is using platform shoes to clean the top shelf of the pantry.

It seems Alexander McQueen is missing a marketing angle here.

Me: "Do you like lots of basil?"
Her: "I love basil."
Me: "Okay, you'd better, because I'm going to make you, uh, eat your words?"

♪ All in all it's just a
'nother warning in the -Wall



(♪We don't need no unsigned and signed integer comparisons)

Ghetto Pooh be like, "Where all them hunnys at?"

It’s kind of sweet how some couples carve their initials into concrete. I wonder if these two are still together. pic.twitter.com/O5xs71W3qZ

Put an X on it.

Portland: A bird.
California: An avocado.
Hawaii: Macaroni salad.
Fresno: A quiet sense of shuffling despair.

And then suddenly I’m paralyzed with a thought: what *else* can I pour through the Vinturi? Patron? Orange juice? Mountain Dew Baja Blast?

It’s surprisingly difficult to work on a web browser when the Internet is out.

@jauricchio ARG_MAX is apparently 262k.

"i've found my third favorite nosql database~" —@blazingice

Strange command of the evening:
> sudo gem uninstall dicks

I don't remember why I even installed it in the first place.

You know how [super init] might fail so you have to test if self is nil?

The technical term is "checking yo self before wrecking yo self".