Attention politicians! NO ONE FUCKING WON! Grow the fuck up and fix the damned stuff that 8 yrs of Dubya broke. FUCK!!

Jon Stewart is NAILING IT! I've been waiting for this all day. I'm not disappointed. #DAILYSHOWBUSTSROMNEYSBALLS

Lifetime free healthcare for Congressional members #CUT_THIS

will someone ask John Cusack how he gets his eyeliner on so evenly, please?

There's a part of me that would almost admire GOP if they'd just go ahead and admit, once and for all, that it's because he's black. Almost

Gingerbread vagina #replacehousewithvagina

Maybe rather than try to figure out why a relationship ended, I should look at why it started.

My favorite thing about the rapture is NO MORE TYLER PERRY CRAP!!!!!

Does this Subaru Outback make me look lesbian?

The homeless always have really great tans.

Ponies are mean little fuckers, which proves that "short man disease" is alive and well in the animal kingdom. Also, Chihuahuas.

Twitter and the cats are excellent enablers for my agoraphobic tendencies.

When I begin a conversation with, 'Now look here, Skippy...' know that it will most decidedly not end well for you, Skippy.

Jesus was a Jew. He would never approve of eating ham to celebrate him becoming a zombie..

Am I wrong for being turned on by the Russian dude in the Direct TV commercials? Well of course I am. And that's why you love me.

I wish Big Love had ended with Alby raping Bill.

There's a minimum age for serving Congress, right? How about we impose a max age AND income? That will straighten shit out REAL quick.

I can hardly wait to hear Pat Robertson tell the "right" why god hit them with the tornado cluster...

God. Damned. Brain. Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!

I win Twitter today!!! I have 420 followers!!!