If you love something, let it go.

If you love someONE, confront them with unfair rhetorical questions that you expect answers to.

It's sad that people find intelligence more offensive than narcissism.

Twitter is the drug, the pusher, the enabler, and the support group all at once.

You'll punish the one fixing you for not being the one who broke you.

I use these ( ... ) a lot.
For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots.

You guys think you have problems?

Not ONE song has ever been written about me.

I raise my hand to give a wave back, but you're talking to someone behind me, so I fake-stretch and yawn as I die inside.

So, Rage and Florence are not in agreement over the subject of Machines?

It's life.
Bleed quietly.

WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME I HAD FOLLOWERS?!???

She loves long walks on the beach.
Really long.
Seriously, she won't come home.

Helena, if you're reading this...

Who keeps putting vomit in my stomach???

If you're ugly and crazy, you're a liability.

If you're attractive and crazy, you're an adventure.

Make better mistakes.

I started praying to God but He gave me the "Woah-Leave-Me-The-Fuck-Out-Of-It" head shake while backing up.

I hate declarative sentences.

Her talk of "milkshakes" was a euphemism????

The key is to maintain a level of idiocy, despite education and advice

"Ahhh! Stop! I'm Not Into That At All!"
#BadPornTitles

Depressive Batman watches all movies on his Batlaptop cause the BatBluRay BatPlayer is ever so FAR from his BatBed.