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I'll see your boobies and raise you a boner.
Jeffery Dahmer never would have been caught, if he knew how to make jerky.
Whats the difference between spit and swallow ? 30lbs of pressure on the back of her head.
what does..ROUGH SEX,SMALL FARM ANIMALS and ALCOHOL have in common ? I cant remember..but i'm having some really bizarre flashbacks.
I wish there was LSD flavored popcorn !
How do boneless chicken survive to become adults ?
I put the 'lure' in Failure !
"GO FUCK YOURSELF !" I'll watch.
THINGS that go bump in the night...don't worry it's just me drunk and in the wrong house....AGAIN
I'm beginning to understand what a serial killer thinks like.
Ed Gein was a fashion designer way ahead of his time.
sedated the cat, made some plaster of paris, waited 30 mins and now kitty w/airhole is awoken as a garden gnome, maybe a youtube moment here
You know 'yer a DRUNK when: You have to go to court to find out what happened !
This tweet was brought to you by Smirnoff Vodka & Tyson chicken nuggets
tick tick tick MURDER tick tick tick MURDER tick tick tick MURDER tick tick tick MURDER tick tick tick MURDER - Update from Detroit
Does Twitter have a recovery program ?
BREAKING NEWS: Santa failed his drug test.
Never trust a newborn baby to do chores around the house.
I wish I owned a Pharmacy !!!
Never ! trust a squirrel who wears a hoody !
getting lovey dovey with my semi-automatic trippin' on acid & TV static civilization turned creature feature the Jung at heart are going back to Nietzsche
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