Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I am not satisfied until every square on my Eggo is filled with syrup
Men, there's a fine line between being "sensitive" and being a pussy.
Naked hugs are so much better..
I'm getting the feeling some people on twitter may be a bit socially awkward..
I speak fluent English and enough Spanish to get me laid and find the library apparently.
Being a woman in my thirties, I don't need to read Cosmo's 99 best sex secrets.. Been there done that..And I have better moves in my arsenal
There are a lot of euphemisms for fucking, but "I wanna pound ur pussy like it owes me money" is right up there with the best
Life isn't fair. Not by a fucking long shot
That's what Guinness is for.
Men who don't make noise when they have an orgasm--- stop that.
The worst feeling in the world is feeling disposable.
People confuse me. I think I will go live amongst the jellyfish in jellyfish fields with Spongebob
Dear lord, #rapture happens today, please make it happen while I am doing what I do best.. #GivingHead Amen.
Ex hubs gf declared I don't have a "real job."
I'm a waitress. She's a flight attendant.
Diff? My restaurant won't crash into a mountain.
I don't plan, I plot.
I judge how much fun I am having by how fast my iPhone's battery drains
I don't hold grudges.. I don't have that long of an attention span
Gonna avoid Haloween candy. That shit will kill ya. *lights cigarette*
My ex will be here in 10 mins to pick up the kids. Guess I should put pants on
Let the beer flow like lies from Herman Cain's mouth. #Friday
Melissa. Pirates, Fighting Irish girl, Packers fan, lover of Guinness and pink roses. Chelsea FC. All around nice person. Daddy's Girl. Clint Barmes fan.