@PhaCue's (Ed C) most faved Tweets...
i'm not saying your ass is huge. but when you walked in front of the tv, i missed 2 episodes of the simpsons.
#2 problem with being asian in america. can't use sayings like "there's more than one way to skin a cat."
licking ice cream off a woman's ass=AWESOME coming up with reasons on how it got there and why i must use my tongue to clean it=DAUNTING
waking up naked=REFRESHING people in macy's bedding department not minding their own damn business=ANNOYING
i love having arguments in my car. especially when i can turn the passenger side airbag off at will.
i think earning stars on twitter are like clitorises. they don't really exist, so i'll stop looking for them.
the only thing i hate about sex is all the questions from the police and lawyers afterwards. sometimes human resources gets invovled too
i finally saw the movie twilight. actually it was an episode of gossip girl, but if figure it's pretty much the same thing.
i'm in a hotel suite, lying naked on a bed eating tacos. normally i'd ask what's wrong with this picture, but right now i'm cool with it
my clothes dryer has a setting for "fluff". i know, get your mind out of the gutter. i will text more after i'm released from the ER.
when i meet a woman for the 1st time, i always notice her eyes first. i want to make sure she hasn't caught me starring at her chest.
i apologize for all the sarcastic things people have said on twitter. please disregard anything below this line.
My lawyer told me I will not be getting 7 years of my life back in the divorce settlement. For the record, Satan has a new errand boy.
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