@shelbyfero Possible old man no longer has comprehension of object permanence, now believes you to be a wizard.

@rachelkiley Oh I hope he's asleep at that table in judge's robes tomorrow.

@rachelkiley God help us if your reality-altering superpowers ever manifest.

@caycepollard “Fucktown was burning.” #openingsentences

Maybe Kate Beckinsale and Milla Jovovich have some weird bet between them and that’s why we keep getting Underworld and Resident Evil films.

@caycepollard Hopefully this is where @rachelkiley replies with something along the lines of “I lamped @maureenjohnson 35 minutes ago.”

@rachelkiley Cuz @caycepollard's the friend you deserve, but not the one you need right now. So you'll vent to her, because she can take it.

@rachelkiley Wow that started trending quickly. #killrachel

@rachelkiley We've learned to accept you.

@rachelkiley I never let my complete ignorance of a subject stop me from professing full understanding. Not about to start now.

@rachelkiley Rachel you died in the first scene.

@rachelkiley Some don’t even realize they’ve been canceled. Just keep reliving the same futile struggle, never making progress.

@rachelkiley I wish I could tell you that Canceled-TV-Show-Character Purgatory wasn’t a dark, cold, empty place of sadness but…*looks away*

@mpanighetti MARIO I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP IN TIME I'M NOT READY

A miserable little pile of secrets. RT @wondroushippo: What is a man?

@rachelkiley they could each have matching Bane masks.

@mpanighetti @rachelkiley Create a shortcut in the keyboard settings so that the abbreviation “fuck” is replaced with “fuck”.

@hey_frey NIXON CAN STILL WIN THIS

@rachelkiley Ra¢hel Ki£ey

@maureenjohnson How can you be sure of that? Maybe all you did was give that boy an appetite for screams.