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all of my meals are snack size meaning they are all made of snacks
This is really fun so far=) From, Ava
Guy just walked by me in the airport with a ukelele strapped to his backpack. Wonder how many girls with bangs are buried behind his dorm.
I CAHHHHHNT DOIT CAPTAIN
THATS SO STRESSFUL AT A CONCERT WHEN THE ARTIST EXPECTS U TO RECITE THEIR SONG AND HOLD OUT THE MIC 2 THE CROWD LIKE "GO!"
Wow, nail polish manufacturers are really fighting their own little war against feminism, huh?
ALL I WANT FOR XMAS IS A MILLION BOTS
I absolutely do not want to be someone who begs celebs to follow them on twitter but I also desperately want celebs to follow me on twitter
Q: Are marbles made of marble?
Just saw the most random ass trailer for a Ben Stiller movie
"I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR HORSE." -The Horse Shouter
Imagine having money and then later still having money.
Back to the Future 2 but instead of sports scores Biff finds out all the most hilarious future news stories & parks the parody account names
Am I at risk of sensory overload? Well, let's just say my music is at a moderate volume and I'm drinking a glass of room temperature water
NEW DIET: Every time you want to eat a cheeseburger, take your shirt off in front of a group of teenagers. They'll shame you real good.
At Trader Joe's I thought I saw a nude model from a drawing class I took in college, but it was probably just Redfoo.
This holiday season, be the family member that only cuts what little square of wrapping paper they need off the roll
"Conditions are just...really fucking bright out there today." - hungover weatherman