Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I want my tombstone to read: Don't talk to me.
Everybody was Kung-fu fighting except that one guy. He was just singing about it.
2am: Sleep's for pussies.
9am: Sleep's legendary.
America is like Canada's New Jersey.
Decided to try thinking before I spoke and now I haven't said a word in 12 days.
Whenever my boss takes me out for lunch, I order two drinks. Just in case I'm being fired.
I bought a lot of pizza tonight, in case you're a girl who's alone and is really into eating lots of pizza.
I hope Australians don't look as funny as they sound.
Remember that one time we watched Jeepers Creepers together and you didn't even know I was there?
"Blah, blah, blah" -- authority figures.
The Hilter stache is the worlds worst landing strip.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blow jobs.
Emptiness is underrated.
I want to die the same way I was born. Being shot out of a cannon.
I'm always a little suspicious of radioactive people.
I went to the beach today and buried myself in the sand, but that was only to hide my boner.
Sometimes I cut myself with a knife because cooking is tough stuff.
Let's blow houses down, wolf style.
"We will, we will, block you!" - Queen on Twitter.
Don't feed E.T. after midnight.
He wets the bed.
Want a taste? .....i got some stuff, just lemme figure out what & junk.