@analogtransmit If you buy it you literally become a genius

@malaise_forever @mkupperman Foie gras is cruel. All that food shoved down poor Tom Hiddleston's throat.

Warning: the world is fucking gorgeous pic.twitter.com/iIZOeAbT7Q

Not even fair goddammit what the hell pic.twitter.com/uQgYDeyhld

@kitty_snyde @taint_chakra @jamalgirljamal @alfiesays Ernest knows what he's talking about!

@taint_chakra @jamalgirljamal @alfiesays I'm gonna feel fantastic when this account blows up, since I was there for the genesis.

I'm very good at peeling tangelos. Does that go under work experience or special skills on my résumé?

@pizzapotzopotzo Because I bear you no ill will

There's a show about celebrity diving? Ah well, it was a nice human race while it lasted.

@kirabira @kitty_snyde Style That Muumuu With Kira Bira, This Fall on Aw Who Even Gives A Fuck

"Everyone knows what kids love most: Ornette Coleman!"  http://www.poynter.org/latest-news/mediawire/206879/npr-seeks-to-build-younger-audience-through-new-campaign/ …

@joannacav @rarelyclever @jla1022 Shaq enjoys all the meats of our cultural stew.

@karatloz I liked when he male gazed that 20 year old.

@karatloz @taint_chakra A new low for Joe Gibson.

@admiralchristy That's not silly at all, considering you work for Denny's.

Happy International Women's Day, everyone. Except misogynists. I hope birds shit on misogynists today.

@malaise_forever @taint_chakra $haun

@emakbakia_ You know what they say about Washington DC: not a big news town.

@malaise_forever @barefootjim @karatloz @analogtransmit @saucecoach This is the end of Pax Syriana.

@barefootjim @malaise_forever @karatloz @analogtransmit @saucecoach The humor in this thread is like that George Clooney movie. Out of sight