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Fuck a teaching degree, the pimp hand is the only degree I need to teach any bitch a lesson.
It's funny how you think you know someone so well, then you bang his wife and then his true colors start to show.
Where's Miss Piggy you ask? That bitch is out getting my paper! #pimphandstrong
That awkward moment when bitches catch feelings and forget, I'm a no strings attached puppet.
Blowjobs not only feel great, they're also a great way to get Miss Piggy to shut the fuck up. Win-Win.
Drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like licking your sisters pussy. It might taste the same but it's not fucking right.
My favorite sex position is whatever one she's in when I bind her in duct tape.
Hand deep my friend. RT @selfishindulge: @kermlt how deep u get in ms piggys ass?
Girls say guy's have it easy not having to go through labor. I say bitch try pissing with a boner, then we'll see who has it easy.
Ladies: not swallowing a mans semen during a blowjob is a violation of our sperms and conditions.
I wonder if inmates in prison say #nohomo before raping another inmate? Cause then it wouldn't be considered gay. #bigmistake
If you've ever said "_______ is better than bacon" and that word wasn't "more bacon" you're a fucking liar.
That awkward moment when, a vegetarian is giving a cop a blowjob, then she suddenly realizes she just ate pig.
Call me old fashion but I think it's kinda cute when a girl let's me finger her at the dinner table.
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.:
A ho without instruction is heading towards self destruction.
Stats can't be shown as @PimpKermit has never signed in to Favstar.
