Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you've never met...impossible

Put your titties on the glass.....Bitch.

It's amazing how many followers you'll get with a face/tit avi compared to a non-identifying one. Superficial.

Nick jr. is crack for 3 y/o's.

Men, if she doesn't squirt, you didn't hit the right button. Keep hitting it..to the left, left, to the right, right... Now dip baby! Dip.

Everyone tells me heartache is only temporary...I want to stab them in the fucking throat and watch them slowly bleed out. Temporary my ass.

The star button is directly linked to the clit. You can do it!

Is there really any point in titty fucking?

If you tweet about your ex more than three times a week, it's safe to assume they left you, right?

If you have a sexy accent, can I come over to your house for a sleepover....I like bedtime stories. Read to me.

If I had a dollar for every time I had to show a man where my clit was & how to get me off AND then he still didn't listen.....I'd have $7.

To the people who star my sexually explicit tweets: we need to fuck. There, the cats out of the bag.

At 32 y/o, I finally acquired all the knowledge to fully understand the meaning of the phrase, "pop that pussy"...

I wish these emotions would suck on more than just my soul....maybe a nipple, or finger.

Moms reaction to finding out about my twitter page: cussing me, crying, & calling me a "whore".


And she wonders where I got it from.

If you use the word(s) dick, cock, pussy, vag, orgy, masturbation, coffee, bacon, or blowjob in a Tweet....chances are, I'll star that shit.

I thank God everyday for not giving me tube sock titties. Shew.

To the men that had their souls sucked out by their exes:



Everybody knows she's a dirty whore....move on.

Hearing some men's descriptions about sex, makes me wonder if they have ever had real sex w/someone before.



Your mom doesn't count.

I'm looking for the five finger blasting discount...can I get an Amen?!