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My mistake I didn't know you had a corn cob up your ass...
You kinda look like a penis
If I wanted to see stupid teen moms..I would go to the DMV, but thanks anyways MTV
Chris brown and Bruno mars should get together and write a song called "we both fucking suck"
If you unfollow me on twitter I'll shit on you in real life
Guys act like women are sooo complicated...In reality all we want is someone to kill spiders & play with our hair
Everyone's buying romantic valentines day shit...I'm standing here with Cheetos & febreze
Baby would you put some bugles on your fingers & scratch my back
I just got mace in my eye! If you're wondering it fucking works
A sexy tan guy is a turn on, but only if he gets the tan from being manly & working outside
Some guys are cute till they walk away,& they walk like they shit their pants
It's only cute when 4 yr olds say "Valentimes Day" soo please learn to speak 💔
Amanda loves butthole pleasures
White people are so boring
Milk is so gross I would hate myself if I was a cow
You didn't fart fingernail polish
The song "call me maybe" seriously sounds like something a kid wrote for their fourth grade talent show
The E.R. waiting room always reminds me why some people shouldn't reproduce
Being able to piss standing up should be a privilege
If you like cats, you should Check out dogs
i hate sappy tweets, i have ten fingers ✋✋& tom petty wants my bod