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My mistake I didn't know you had a corn cob up your ass...
You kinda look like a penis
If I wanted to see stupid teen moms..I would go to the DMV, but thanks anyways MTV
Chris brown and Bruno mars should get together and write a song called "we both fucking suck"
If you unfollow me on twitter I'll shit on you in real life
Guys act like women are sooo complicated...In reality all we want is someone to kill spiders & play with our hair
Everyone's buying romantic valentines day shit...I'm standing here with Cheetos & febreze
I just got mace in my eye! If you're wondering it fucking works
Baby would you put some bugles on your fingers & scratch my back
It's only cute when 4 yr olds say "Valentimes Day" soo please learn to speak 💔
White people are so boring
The song "call me maybe" seriously sounds like something a kid wrote for their fourth grade talent show
Being able to piss standing up should be a privilege
If you like cats, you should Check out dogs
How is being a "bad bitch" attractive? Guess I'm old fashioned
Smells like I'm gonna get you pregnant
This icy hot patch is like sex for your back
I just smacked you in the face with a bag of weed
Sorry to the dude I just cut off..at least you look cute when you're mad
Some guys are cute till they walk away,& they walk like they shit their pants
i hate sappy tweets, i have ten fingers ✋✋& tom petty wants my bod