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Crying sadly as I'm eating my animal crackers. Maybe giving them names and a back story was a bad idea.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families
My voice of reason is set on mute today.
Apparently saying "I know, right" isn't the correct response when your best friend says her husband isn't that great in bed.
Why are those men staring at me?
So I ate my 6" sub in one bite, big whoop. I was hungry
Correction to previous tweet:
Dear future husband or wife,
You forgot to take out the trash
(don't want to limit my options)
We should start following other people.
How sad that I still haven't awakened to singing birds & mice that are laying out my clothes.
I blame Disney for my morning expectations.
Plus I'm hungry and my bra isn't giving me the support I need 😡
Your child may be an honor student, but my child's grandma is on Twitter