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I'm not above quoting Blink-182 to girls too young to remember their early stuff.
Drinking in bed makes me feel like an old, dying king with no heir.
If I had to guess, I'd say I'm probably bad-to-mediocre at chariot racing.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I used a cliché to start a joke that seems like it'll rhyme but ends with me just explaining the joke.
Fuck damnit mother-shitting son-of-a-bitcher fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
I gotta stop referring to movies by the name of the main actor in them. It confuses folks, but old habits Bruce Willis.
If you dislike the song Baba O'Riley, you need to quit being a motherfucker.
I'm sorry if your name is Jeremy, but I feel like it's a name for someone who is permanently eleven.
Last night one of my friends would not drop a character he called "Stoner Hitler." Upon a night of cautious reflection, it was pretty funny.
MY THEORY: It must be my uncontainable sex appeal and good looks that make it hard for me to sleep. It's the only logical answer.
Oh hey and a happy Canada Day to you wacky folks up North there. Keep keepin' it really real.
For reference: I am currently composed of living, intact, raw stuff.
Gonna start a business, and hire only classy dudes. I'll call it a genterprise.
You can tell I've been home all morning because of the sadness mountain of soda cans as well as the shame vortex occupying the living room.
I have this crippling fear of being the last person on Earth who realizes how awesome The Fifth Element is.
I fucking hate this town, but I like seeing all my friends.
It seems like every two weeks, I decide on a new thing I want to do with my life.
I have tend to forget that most people don't usually share my sense of humor. I think, "Why wouldn't they?" The answer is usually "duh."
Fuck. Self control failed. Need to buy cigarettes tonight. Fuck.
Fried pork sausage, chili beans, rice and salsa. Fucking hell yeah.
NICK FURY DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE THROUGH A WALL SHOOTING GUNS